Christina Pazsitzky LOVES Jorts, Hates Whistling in Public

[Editor's Note: Quick Questions is our semi-regular feature where we ask comedians a ton of random questions without giving them time to think of anything funny to say. Surprisingly, they still do.]

Last time we talked to comedian Christina Pazsitzky, we completely agreed with her when she described her style as being, “Truthful and if it comes across as gross or crude, I hope people don't judge.” Since then, some might say she's calmed down a bit with the “crude” and to that we say, HAHAHA not even a touch! And that's why we remain total fans of her comedy. (To be clear, we also admire her sausage intake as well.) From gracing stages all over the world to hosting the podcast “Your Mom's House” with her comedian husband Tom Segura, we are always on the lookout for everything she does and sincerely love it all. Before her show at the Brea Improv this weekend (July 3rd through 6th), we got this fantastic gal to go in with us on a game of “Quick Questions” and just as expected, she came out smelling like roses.


Karaoke. OK for only drunk people or OK for everyone? Drunk. Sober karaoke is nature's way of letting you know who you should never hang out with.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? Everything on Oprah's OWN Network…especially Oprah's Life Class. I love when she says, “Everybody tweet tweet that!” Nobody says “tweet tweet” for a tweet on Twitter except an out of touch gazillionaire.

Are there any topics you wouldn't joke about? NO WAY, DUDE.

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you? Rodney Dangerfield

What was your first time on stage like? Two words: Diar. Rhea.

What's the craziest pick-up line ever said to you? A G.O. at Club Med once told me, “I have a mirror and a jar of Vaseline in my room if you're interested.” That has had to have worked on somebody before. There is no other reason someone could say something that insane in public.

Hickeys: acceptable or fucking disgusting? They're the best! My husband gets furious when I give them to him but it lets all those other bitches know what's up.

What's the wildest thing you've ever done while being drunk? Threaten to fight some girl who made out with my boyfriend in college.


What is your biggest pet peeve? Whistling in public.

Daisy Dukes or Jorts? JORTS ALL DAY!

Did you have a backup plan if this whole comedy thing didn't work out for you? Barista at Starbucks. It's actually a great company. I worked there in the summer of '98.

What is a question that you get asked all of the time that you hate? Both you and your husband are comedians? Who's funnier?

Have you ever laughed so hard you pissed yourself? No, but I sharted while laughing.

What's something you want to accomplish this year because you didn't last year? Actually watch Madmen.

If your house was on fire and you could grab only three things, what would they be? Wedding photos, childhood photos, and a bottle of wine to watch the house burn down.

What's the best advice that you've ever received? “Just keep plugging away, it'll happen.” -Phyllis Diller

Check out Christina Pazsitzky at the Brea Improv July 3rd through 6th, 120 South Brea Blvd. Brea, CA 92821. (714) 482-0700. For tickets go to Make sure you tune into Your Mom's House and for more info, go to Christina's website and follow her on Twitter at @ChristinaP.

See also:
Steve-O Found a Way to Work Manginas Into His Stand-Up Comedy
10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time
10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time

Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.

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