You and your husband, who is a cop, constantly walk your foaming-at-the-mouth attack dogs without leashes in violation of a city ordinance. I understand you don’t care that your mutts continuously race up to me and try to bite my legs while I’m carrying grocery bags. You think the encounters are funny, as you insist that the dogs’ growling and snapping are innocent play. How about this idea for innocent play? I fire high-powered Taser darts into these animals you proudly call your “kids”? Now that really would be funny and deserving.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to firstname.lastname@example.org.