If 48th Congressional District voters on Tuesday return Representative Dana Rohrabacher (R-Putin’s Lip Locker) to Congress for his 31st and 32nd years, they will get to hear him say more stuff like the following, all of which he has uttered over the years:
• “Global warming is a hoax.”
• “We have become a magnet for all the pregnant women of the world.”
• Senator Ted Kennedy “is a man who drowned a young lady in his car, who was reported to have fornicated on the floors of Washington restaurants.”
• President Bill Clinton’s “sex in the White House” caused the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
• “George W. Bush becoming president is just further proof of the existence of God. There is no other explanation.”
• “You don’t have to say [Anita Hill]’s a liar to say Clarence Thomas is telling the truth. People have different memories of the same event.”
• “Look, the Democratic party is controlled by environmental extremists. They are controlled by feminist extremists.”
• “[I] would suggest not changing the definition of marriage in our society to make a small number of people feel more comfortable.”
• Allegations of Russia meddling in U.S. elections are “a total fabrication in order to do one thing: to prevent Donald Trump from exercising the legitimate authority he was given by the voters in the last election.”
• White nationalist riots in Charlottesville, Virginia, were staged by “left-wingers who were manipulating them in order to have this confrontation.”
• On Sacha Baron Cohen’s fake Kinder-Guardians gun training for young children: “Maybe having young people learn how to train and defend their schools might actually make us safer here.”
• “I know I had dinner with [accused Russian spy Mariia “Maria” Butina] along with another member [of Congress], along with a visiting delegation to Russia. Is that something we should be worried about?”
• “Every homeowner should be able to make a decision not to sell their home to someone [if] they don’t agree with their lifestyle.”
• “Well, let me just note . . . uh . . . this is coming into the year of the dog. Now, there are people in the United States that don’t like that Chinese people eat dog. And I want them, Chinese people, to know that we eat bunnies over here, and we eat all kinds of little animals. I don’t blame them for eating dog; if that’s what tastes good, that’s what tastes good.”
• “This guy [Brett Kavanaugh] who’s going to be our Supreme Court justice, and he better be our Supreme Court judge, he’s a perfect candidate, and what do they say? ‘Well, in high school, you did this.’ High school? Give me a break!”
Could this be the LAST Dana Watch? If you’ve still got Dana fodder, contact firstname.lastname@example.org. You know, just in case. . . .
Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the paper’s first calendar editor. He went on to be managing editor, executive editor and is now senior staff writer.