Disney Okays Cast Member Beards

First, it was mustaches. Then, exposed arms and legs.

And now, beards have finally gotten an accepting nod at the Happiest Place on Earth.
Learn more about the hairy faces you'll soon be seeing at Disneyland after the jump.


Disney has pretty strict rules when it comes to what they consider to be an “acceptable appearance” for their employees.

​In 2000, Disney finally allowed male Cast Members to sport mustaches. In 2010, female Cast Members got a break when Disney no longer required them to have their arms covered by sleeves or legs covered in pantyhose. 

Because, you know, no one wears pantyhose anymore. Do they even still make them? Remember when they'd come in a big plastic egg, like Mork from Ork?

Anyway, the latest freedom Disney has given Cast Members is the opportunity to grow a beard.

Today, the Walt Disney Company notified its employees that, starting on February 3, Cast Member facial hair will be allowed in the parks. Disney's strict dress code originally banned facial hair some 55 years ago.

However, Cast Member beards will still have to adhere to a few guidelines:

1. Neatly trimmed facial hair is fine as long as it is no longer than one-quarter of an inch. In related news, Disney is currently looking for a full-time beard measurer.

2. No soul patches! Understandable, seeing as how they're generally horrible whether they're in the parks or not.

3. No squirrels or other woodland creatures are allowed to live in a Cast Member's beard. Actually, I just made that one up, but I think it's a good rule to have regardless.

Unfortunately, Cast Members are still forbidden from having any visible tattoos. But what if someone had a tattoo in the shape of a beard?!? Whoa… I just blew my own mind.

So, just so we're all on the same page here, could a recently captured Ted Kaczynski work at Disneyland? 

No. Ah, but what about a Ted Kaczynski police sketch?

Yes! What about Jesus?

No. How about Enigma from the Jim Rose Circus?

Highly doubtful. But that would be awesome. And finally, how about Rollie Fingers?

That's a hard call. He doesn't even have a beard, but that mustache is definitely longer than a quarter of an inch. To be honest, I think they'd give him a pass just because his mustache is so fucking sweet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *