*Update: Doug's shows have been canceled due to an emergency but he still kicks ass and gives a great interview so, enjoy.*
Need more Doug Stanhope in your life? You’re not alone. Lucky for you bastards, Stanhope is coming to So Cal and he’s doing it big November 14th-16th with one night at each the Irvine Improv, the Ontario Improv, and the new Levity Live club in Oxnard. And since you want (need) more Stanhope and probably want to know on the down low if he’s as cool as he seems off stage (spoiler alert: he is), we got him on the horn, rather, he got us on it to talk about predictions, “inspiring” music, death, attire choices, and what not to ask him when you meet him.
Doug Stanhope: Sorry I missed your call. I forgot all about the interview of course. But hey, I’m not doing anything. Also, I have you in my phone as Ali-notalli? Why the fuck is that?
OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): It’s all good and that’s weird. I think it’s my Twitter? Because everyone spells my name wrong. It’s A-L-I not A-L-L-I. See? I’m witty of sorts. Kinda.
Stanhope: [Laughs.] Oh! OK that makes more sense. Alright. I had no idea who that was and was like, if it’s someone in my fucking phone it must be someone I know.
Hi, it’s me Ali. So here we go. By the time this article comes out we’ll have a new president-elect. Any predictions?
It would be silly to think it would be anyone other than Clinton. But then again, you don’t know how many people won’t admit to voting for Trump but that really will. Another thing is, I don’t know how many places like CNN are pretending it’s close because it’s good for business.
Yeah!! I’ve seen so many polls and I’m like, I just saw another poll and it’s totally opposite! What are they doing to us? We’re all adults!
It’s like football when you think it’s going to be a good year and then you find out in week eleven it’s a total clunker but they still get some heightened angle.
It’s always football with you. You have predictions about the Super Bowl already?
For the Super Bowl, me and a buddy from where I grew up always do our preseason predictions and mine was the Raiders and the Cardinals. The Raiders look good.
But you’re a Saints fan, aren’t you?
I still love the Saints but I jumped ship to the Cardinals because no one else will.
Ha! I was just thinking about one time in Vegas you were like, come watch the game. So I did. You were wearing Saints pajama pants. Seemed pretty loyal.
[Laughs.] That makes perfect sense.
You’re so stylish though. What are you wearing right now?
Pajama pants. [Laughs.] They’re from Target or the thrift store. That’s all I wear. I either wear pajama pants or a ridiculous suit. I don’t have any in-between. I don’t even think I own a pair of jeans anymore.
Urghh I live in jeans. I have four pair of the same exact jeans. I’m destine to die alone. Is there a song you wish was playing on your death bed?
Oh jeez! That’s tough one! I have a playlist that I go through and play before shows on the road. I torture people with my music.
One of my new favorites is that “cha cha cha” that I got from a commercial. Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha don’t you know that I love you. Always thinking of you. I swear I get more new music from the TV. If I find a new song a year, it’s a banner year.
Oh my god shut up I hate that commercial because of that song!
No! It’s a great song! [Laughs.] You’re going to hear it all day now. And it’s not even a new song! It’s from the early 2000’s from a band you can’t even find anymore.
I feel like there is a reason for that.
No! Download it, it’s fucking great! The last song I was going up to on tour was “Killing Strangers” from the last Manson album. Marilyn Manson. It’s gets you in the mood for a comedy show. I do love that cha cha cha verse, it’s stuck in my head now.
Super. It’s going to be stuck in my fucking head now. Kill me. Wait. Who’s been the biggest daisy pushing point maker in Doug Stanhope’s Celebrity Death Pool?
I’m trying to think. I know Whitney Houston was a big one because it was February so you got bonus points for black history month, she was young enough, and technically she drowned so, you get bonus points for that. Drowning was the cause of death and at that time we set up a drowning bonus because it’s “a pool.” You know, it’s a death pool so we thought it’d be funny to have a drowning bonus. And you’re like, no one ever drowns! Natalie Wood was the most famous person that has ever drowned. [Laughs.] But, yep!
I can't. You’re the best. Besides “where is Bingo,” what is the most popular question you get asked so when you are in Cali, maybe you don’t get asked it?
Yeah where is Bingo is always a top one. The one that terrifies me though that I always get is, you remember us from last time? [Laughs.] Uhhh, no. And it’s usually people who were buying you a ton of drinks after you’ve already been drinking a lot of drinks. They’re like, “We bought you all of those shots!” I’m like, well yeah, that’s why I don’t remember you!
Catch Doug Stanhope at the Irvine Improv on November 14th, the Ontario Improv November 15th, and at Levity Live in Oxnard on November 16th. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. Watch Doug’s new special “No Place Like Home” on SeeSo, grab his book “Digging Up Mother: A Love Story,” and for all things Stanhope, go to his website www.DougStanhope.com, and follow him on Twitter @DougStanhope.
Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.