Eight Days

Thurs/May 20Ladies and gentlemen, Your Anaheim Angels! take on the stanky Yankees. It's been just ages since we've seen Adam Kennedy, on whom I once had dastardly designs, but only to really piss off my fanboy ex-boyfriend. From just $7! A bargain at one and a third times the price! 7:05 p.m. Angel Stadium, 5 N 57 fwys., Anaheim, (888) 796-HALO.

FriAstronomy Night. When the mooooon is in the seventh house, and Venus and Saturn align with Maaaars. This thing looks totally romantical and/or education-like (depending on whether you've got a hot date or just some stupid kids). Either way, there's some big alignment thang going on, and you will also discover star clusters, nebulae and other celestial phenomena. And you can thank me now or thank me later for not recommending Family Bats N Bugs Nightfor the evening, in which you walk along a stream and the bats probably fly in your hair! (Call the Orange County Natural History Museum for more info on that one, Freak: (949) 831-3287.) Astronomy Night, which is much nicer, takes place 8-10 p.m. $6-$8. Reservations required. Donna O'Neill Land Conservancy, located off Hwy. 74, five miles east of the 5 fwy., (949) 489-9778; www.theconservancy.org.SatYou know, when I moved to Hermosa, so did my mom! And when I moved to Long Beach, my mom moved just across the bridge, to San Pedro! But now that I've moved to Santa Ana, my mom, shockingly, has yet to up and re-lo to Orange. So you're still gonna have to haul it to San Pedro for Commie Mom's John Kerry Fund-Raiser. Sorry about that. Still, what's more fun than a John Kerry fund-raiser at Commie Mom's? Very little! And it's free to walk in; just have your cash at the ready for fun activities such as “throw darts at the president's face” and stuff. Just another example of those vicious liberals Ann Coulter is always getting all morally superior about. 2-5 p.m. Private San Pedro residence, (310) 221-0633; CommieGirl99@hotmail.com. SunSee every hepcat you know down at the beach today for the Doheny Heritage Music Festival, wallowing in Los Lobos, The Robert Cray Band and, for you butterheads, The Paladins. Our highest love goes to the incomparable (but we hear she's mean as a snake!) Miss Lucinda Williams. Ask Dave Alvin (I would, but he hasn't returned my calls in ages) to do his imitation of her yelling at him that he's full of shit. Hilarious!With Robert Randolph N the Family Band, John Mayall, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Olu Dara, Charlie Musselwhite, Ramsay Midwood, Kyle Riabko, Al Blake, and Jackie Greene. 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. $38-$150. All ages. Doheny State Beach, 25300 Dana Point Harbor Dr., Dana Point, (714) 740-2000; www.dohenyheritagefestival.com. MonIt's Prince! Prince! Yayyyyyyy! Prince! You all should e-mail Weekly music editor Rich Kane and laugh at him 'cuz even he has to pay to get into this one. Ha, ha, Rich Kane! (I believe I have just now, and for no good reason whatsoever, decided to reinstate our long-forgotten intra-paper feud. I must really miss the good old days of feuds, when the Long Beach Dub All-Starsused to throw folding chairs at my head.) 7:30 p.m. $49.50-$85. All ages. Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 704-2400; www.arrowheadpond.com. TuesChristian Comedy Night, for people who like things clean and almost certainly are not reading this column. 8 p.m. Brea Improv, 120 S. Brea Blvd., Brea, (714) 482-0700; www.improv.com. WedCelebrate the opening of A Woman's Touch. Sounds like a Sophie B. Hawkins song. Free. The Irvine Museum, 18881 Von Karman Ave., Ste. 100, Irvine, (949) 476-0294. Thurs/May 27Comedy and Karaoke. That sounds nice. You should go. Or don't. I'm kind of over you for now, and I really don't care. 7:15 p.m. Wind and Sea Restaurant, 34699 Golden Lantern, Dana Point, (949) 496-6500.

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