Iowa Results: A Victory for Chuck Norris

So Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee won Iowa. As of 10:30 pm Eastern time and according to CNN projections, Obama picked up 38% of the Democratic vote while Clinton and Edwards each got about 29%. Meanwhile, Huckabee apparently cleaned up with 34% (although Hugh Hewitt's biographical buddy Mitt Romney managed to come in second with 25%).

Your mission, should you choose to accept it – go to and find Mike Huckabee's victory speech, which I'm listening to live at the moment. Watch the film. Stare at it. Become fixated by the floating, grinning head of Chuck Norris. Chuck looks like he just kicked the shit out of a whole boatload of al Qaeda, then used Castro's beard to wipe the blood off his boots. See if you can catch the moment when he switches from Huckabee's left-hand man to his right-hand man.

Obey Chuck Norris!

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