Is the Smoked Turkey's Leg at the OC Fair as Delicious as That Damn Texan Voice Tells You it Is?

Ah, enter the OC Fair. It's a grand old time when a psycho 9-year-old spills his double scoop ice cream on your leg and your pupils dilate because there's so much visual stimulation and you have no idea what to turn your attention to and you snake your way through the ginormous parking lot, the wacko rides, and the scorching California summer heat, and you'll find yourself exhausted with hunger–phew! But deep down in the depths of your soul, you already know how expensive, fattening, and disappointingly plain fair food is. It's time to spend wisely on fair food, after the jump.

Follow the trail of food vendors, and you'll find that concession stands have set up and surrounded a shaded outdoor cafeteria. At the OC Fair, the food doesn't play fair. Traditional vendors compete against each other in making the loudest noise possible, heavily sacrificing the quality of food.

Of course, this makes sense: it's the Fair. People are just ridiculously hungry from getting thrown around in roller coasters, and every other vendor is selling the same shit the next to them is. Of course, you better muscle your way to the top on the appearance scale.

Anyway, around I raced in this circuit of food and dessert vendors, until I stopped in awe of Juicy's concession stands. What they had set up was the equivalent of Monopoly's Boardwalk: three stands in a row of blinking lights, carnivalesque decorations, and a smoking fat stack of turkey legs. On top of all this, there was no way you could ignore the Texan voice over the loudspeaker that repeated the same cheesy shit over and over and over.

I decided to try their turkey leg, a fair food classic. Mr. Roosevelt probably was munching on one of these when he came up with the slogan “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Unfortunately, the taste didn't quite match up to appearance. I could've made a wallet out of the leg's skin, which was too sinewy and tough from being smoked carelessly. Nonetheless, the inner portion was fleshy and a delicious shade of smoky pink. Sure, the turkey leg is a classic and it's not half-bad, but it's probably a good idea to spend your money on a Juicy's half-pound burger or the Thursday food truck exclusives.

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