Lewis Black: Sorry I'm late. I'm doing interviews all day; I've got three stacked up. It's getting to be stupid.
OC Weekly: Now I feel bad.
Don't.
Okay. I didn't really.
I know.
Hey! I've got a question! Howard Dean. Angry. Lewis Black. Angry. Discuss.
His anger's different from my anger. Mine is done for entertainment value. The problem is the arrogance in his anger, which is what hurt him. We've already got an arrogant guy; we don't need another one.
Hey! How exciting were the Iowa caucuses?
I guess. It's always kind of exciting. It's amazing how they go [into the caucuses] and have these discussions. People don't see one another often enough in this country.
What are you concerned with right now?
The tax cut. It's completely insane. Three-hundred fifty billion dollars, and it's not a stimulus at any level. They're cutting taxes at a time when every city and state is broke. I don't think either side has a clue. You know, this $400 credit? How could they possibly think $400 helps anyone with a child? Unless you send them to a Sally Struthers country. . . . And Arnold Schwarzenegger! I've got a message for the people of California: if you go on vacation, don't tell people you're from California because the rest of the country thinks you've lost your mind.
We could start putting maple leaves on our backpacks!
[Talking over me] Look at his budget! Why don't you screw poor people a little more? 'Oh, but the country wants it!' I don't care what the people want!
Hey! My boss said you're doing a tour with Dave Attell! Who's angrier in that fight?
Yeah, I'm doing 50 cities with Dave. It's a different 'angry,' but we're equal in our anger.
Am I the worst interview you've had today?
[. . .] Can I plug something?
Sure! Plug away!
I've got a play being produced: One Slight Hitch on Valentine's Day at the Falcon Theater in Burbank. It's Garry Marshall's theater. It's a comedy: a guy arrives on the day his ex-girlfriend is getting married.
That sounds hilarious! So what do the other interviewers ask you?
Oh, 'Why are you so angry?' 'How is it going from playwrighting to comedy?' 'Which do you prefer?'
Itotally wouldn't ask those questions. So whichdo you prefer?
I like 'em both.
I'm just kidding. I didn't really want to know.
Special Lewis Black Election Bonus: Black rates the Democratic presidential candidates, while we take the extreme liberty of boiling his thoughtful and insightful comments on each into one-word sobriquets that don't necessarily reflect his views. We do this because we have no shame, yes, but mostly we do it because we like the word sobriquet.
Edwards: And that makes him an idiot.
Kerry: [B]ald.
Sharpton: Caucasian.
Kucinich: A city.
Lieberman: Kissinger.
Clark: Sissy.
Actually, the Clark one was really good, so we'll give you the whole one on that.
Clark: I'm very disappointed. He did great analysis for CNN, and then he gives a speech, and it's like hearing Mike Tyson! This guys's a general, and he's a sissy?!?
Lewis Black performs at the Irvine Improv, 71 Fortune Dr., Irvine, (949) 854-5455. Thurs., Jan. 29, 8:30 p.m.; Fri., 8:30 N 10:30 p.m.; Sat., 7, 9 N 11 p.m. Call for ticket prices. Thurs., 18+; Fri.-Sat., 21+.
