[Monday Munchies:] Wedding Season’s Here! (And I’m OK With It)

Reception food, Five Crowns style (photo by Jefferson Van Billiard)

Last week, a very dear friend of mine got married. During the Uber ride to his reception at the illustrious Five Crowns restaurant in Corona Del Mar, my date for the evening began a very heartfelt rant about why weddings in particular … well … suck. It wasn’t long before the other occupants in the car, including myself, had all voiced their own reasons why they despised the ceremony of two souls joining forces. Basically, every individual’s personal experience could all be summed up in one general statement, but we’ll get to that part later. For now, I want to brag about the groom, Tony Long.

For as long as I’ve known Tony, he has been faithful in his love to cannabis and his now-wife, Christina. Not only is Tony the man behind the social media presence of Blüm, which I happen to think is miles above the dispensary competition, but he can also spin circles around any DJ I’ve had the pleasure or misfortune of meeting. Whenever Tony has a new song or strain that he knows will spark my interest, he goes out of his way to make sure I get my hands on it before anyone else, and for that I will always love him.

The groom and Mr. Van Billiard (courtesy of the author)

About four years ago, I was pretty close to finding myself standing on an altar and professing my eternal devotion to a woman just like my brave amigo Tony did, but things don’t always pan out the way you planned. During these past four years, I have spent a lot of my time actively engaging in any activity that would further prevent me from ever having to live through the emotional roller coaster that I had experienced previously, whether it was staying at home, cooped up in my house, or spending all my money on liquor and 3 a.m. Uber rides.

As I sat there at the Five Crowns watching my friends start their lives together while I cut into my prime rib, I realized that anyone who hates weddings needs to understand why they actually hate it. Whether it’s because of the ceremony, the music or the company, you probably harbor contempt because of the same reason why anyone hates anything: your ego. You see, if you’ve found someone to spend every day watching you slowly get fatter, uglier, and less attentive, then you’ve pretty much got it figured out and the rest of us are jealous.

Once the ceremony was done, the plates had been cleared, and people were tired of dancing to Bruno Mars songs on repeat, I sat with Mr. Long and shared a few puffs from my pax pen while we talked about love, life and our mutual affection for our favorite plant. The thing that ended up staying with me, besides the perfectly cooked beef, was the fact that there’s someone out there for everyone and if you get off the couch and start living instead of sulking, you will probably run into them when you least expect it. So I left that party, sent a text to my ex and went home to contemplate my next move with a newfound appreciation for life and the thought that (hopefully) there’s a lady out there who appreciates Southern rap and cannabis as much as I do.

Cheers, Tony! Happy smoking!

Jefferson Matthew VanBilliard is a leo that enjoys all things cannabis and is just trying his best. He let us know that although the desert will always be his home you can find him on Fourth St. in Santa Ana battle rapping teenagers or at the local high school where he coaches girls varsity volleyball without anyone’s permission.

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