You were the surfer dude with the tiny dog (on a leash) who was walking down the beach in front of our normally very friendly but curious poodle. For some reason, after letting several dozen dogs walk by our tent with no problem, our little friend saw your dog and immediately sprang into action, barking rapidly right in his terrified face. I jumped up and grabbed my dog, explaining that he’s really very friendly. Before you walked off, smiling and waving, you had the perfect response: “Oh really? That’s cool. My dog, on the other hand, is a complete shithead.” Point taken. I salute you, sir.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to email@example.com.