Arizona update: It would be so easy to call Arizona Senator Jeff Flake a spineless pile of grandstanding fluff, so let’s start there. Flake is the Republican senator who looks like the Republican senator on some TV show about Washington that needs to have a “good Republican” so the show doesn’t appear too, you know, real. And Flake plays the part, getting so outraged each day when his party’s President says whatever stupid, hateful and insulting thing he says that day about immigrants or the Roseanne reboot, that sometimes he even appears to tear up. He went with that look while acting outraged about the numerous charges of lying and sexual assault and lying about sexual assault leveled at Supreme Court nominee and proud virgin Brett Kavanaugh. Flake even called for an FBI investigation of Kavanaugh, though not for a very good one. Soon enough, Flake was voting to confirm Kavanaugh having experienced what his hometown paper, well-acquainted with his showboating, called a “momentary lapse of independence.”
Minnesota update: Even a wonderful state with wonderful people like Minnesota—the Canada of the United States—has its problems. Al Franken was a senator from the state until stories emerged of his sexual misconduct causing him to resign. One of his fellow senators urging him to do just that was Susan Collins of Maine, the same Susan Collins who seemed equally disturbed by the actions of Brett Kavanaugh. Collins eventually voted to confirm Kavanaugh, which seems in complete disagreement with her Franken stand until you consider that she was acting out of a very subtle point of law being that Franken is a Democrat and Kavanaugh is a Republican and Collins, like Flake, is an independent Republican, the “independent” meaning that every now and then, she might say the NRA might want to reconsider arming preschoolers . . . after she cashes the check.
Root for: Minnesota. Democracy is a hell of a thing, kids. A lot of sound and fury, and then you end up with a man accused of multiple instances of assaults against women and their bodies named to the highest court for the rest of his life where he will rule on all matters having to do with women and their bodies. Of course, we already have a good idea what Kavanaugh thinks regarding women’s bodies—mainly, that they should just stop struggling.