Susan Kang Schroeder's Beauty Tips!

Ever had one of those moments in which you think, “Jesus H. Christ, this is the person in charge?!” Of course you have! I had that moment last week when our investigative guys groaned about Susan Kang Schroeder of the Orange County district attorney's office—this time for treading into Trendzilla territory.

In an interview with The Orange County Register, Schroeder described her full beauty regime. Why Greg Hardesty thought learning how Schroeder gussies up was interesting is beyond us. The article has a few tongue-in-cheek remarks directed at Schroeder and even itself, but some real gems deserve a retelling.

The story opens with a photo of Schroeder standing over her makeup container, which is the size of professional makeup artists' cases. She says the monstrosity is only “the highlights.” According to our calculations, based on her lists, Schroeder spends upward of $800 on beauty products every couple of months—she's clearly aiming for Newport Coast.

Her lotion of choice is Jo Malone Orange Blossom at a whopping $75 for a tube of less than 6 ounces, but it's not about the price; it reminds her of growing up in OC and smelling all the orange groves. We're not sure how much you wanna date yourself here, Susan, but those orange groves have been gone for a looong time—or were you just making that up?

That pretty smell ain't enough, though; Schroeder's evening perfume is Quelques Fleurs by Houbigant at $100 for just an ounce. But she's “been wearing it since college” at USC so it's more about nostalgia at this point. For clothes, the chief of staff chooses modest Burberry and St. John Knits—tough life!

In the grand scheme of terrible things that people with money do, it's miniscule; there's nothing wrong with buying nice stuff. But flaunting it when you're a public employee with the capacity to ruin people's lives is like telling the county to eat cake. The real kicker? In response to a friend on Facebook who loved the article, Schroeder says, “As I always say, it's better to be pretty than smart.” This, coming from the woman whom we're told desperately wants to be the DA one day. Heaven help us all. . . .


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