I was driving home from downtown Santa Ana late one night when I realized I had a parking ticket slipped underneath one of my windshield wipers. After venting to my friend later about how I couldn’t figure out why I was ticketed, she advised me to look at the time stamp—and that’s when I realized it wasn’t a ticket for my car after all. It was issued to a bronze-colored van, likely the same one that was parked next to my car when I left that night and which I now remember giving me a sketchy vibe thanks to its disheveled, lived-in look and its shifty-eyed driver standing outside observing me. Motherfucker, for your sake, you better be far away by now. In the words of Liam Neeson in Taken, I will look for you, and I will find you. Somebody’s gonna pay that ticket—and it ain’t gonna be me!
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to firstname.lastname@example.org.