What’s The Ideal Christmas Gift This Year For Congressman Dana Rohrabacher?

We know you’ve been thinking: What’s the perfect Christmas gift this year for 13-term, Orange County Congressman Dana Rohrabacher?

Given Rohrabacher’s recently revealed aversion to cleanliness, some people have suggested dozens of boxes loaded with Formula 409 All-Purpose Cleaner.

Others believe an industrial-strength Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner is a more appropriate gift.

Someone else, a prominent local Republican who knows the congressman well and has firsthand knowledge of his grime-covered digs, suggested employing Hazel, the TV maid, for a year.

But Rohrabacher’s messes require the services of battle-scarred professionals who’ve seen the worst man can do.

With that fact in mind, the ideal gift for Dirty Dana is an on-call contract with the good folks at Crime Scene Steri-Clean, LLC.

Take a look at the crime scene carpet the congressman left when he moved out of a $1 million Costa Mesa rental home:

The company–which offers around the clock rapid response times–can handle the worst of Rohrabacher-type messes: human decomposition, urine/vomit/feces clean up and, a must for this unhygienic, booze-guzzling congressman who left white maggots under his stove, rodent extraction and clutter removal.

=

There’s an added bonus of credibility because Orange County’s Cory Chalmers, president of the company he created in 1995, has received community service awards from bipartisan sources: Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez (D-Anaheim) and Supervisor Todd Spitzer (R-Orange).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *