Sir Charles Barkley is coming to Orange County as part of the three-day Enlightened Entrepreneur Summit of motivational speakers at the Crowne Plaza Anaheim Thursday through Saturday.
As long as the local gig doesn't interfere with his divine work ripping apart NBA refs, players and games, we're fine with it, because Barkley routinely entertains better than the game he's commenting on.
Ten favorite quotes from the Round Mound of Rebound follow . . .
]
“When I was recruited
at Auburn [University], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those
titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”
“All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.”
“I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques.
I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball.”
“I heard Tonya Harding is calling
herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her
for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.”
“Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires
in the whole country and half of 'em are right here in this room,” Barkley said at an NBA All-Star game.
[
“I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan.”
“We better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch
of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother
for having me too soon.”
“I remember sitting
down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They
said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on
you?'”
“If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great
personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't
play a lick. Same thing.”
After the judge at a trial for throwing a Chicago bar patron out of a first-floor window asked if Barkley had any regrets, he answered, “Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.”
I feel motivated already.
(For more on the summit, visit http://enlightenedentrepreneursummit.com.)
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.