Your 2016 OC Anti-Endorsement Voting Guide!

Time was when we used to give endorsements in this paper . . . and that time will never return. Too many of the candidates we supported became evil (Larry Agran and Nativo Lopez, to name the two most egregious examples) or stand no chance because they're too damn pure. But we can tell you who NOT to vote for, which local candidates are the worst of the worst. Pass this along to your friends, family and dead relatives before Nov. 8, and make sure these losers don't win. Oh, and #fucktrump.

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LOCAL MEASURES

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Measure MA. Voting yes on this Long Beach proposal means not only that you've fallen for the city's money-hungry schemes, but also that you'll be subject to fluctuating tax rates for medical marijuana and ridiculous tax rates for recreational weed. It's particularly rude to stoners to write such a complicated measure when the far-better MM is also on the ballot.

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CONGRESS

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Lou Correa. We've been covering the Anaheim native since he was Lou Sheldon's bitch, and he hasn't improved much since. Running to replace Loretta Sanchez in the 46th Congressional District, he'd provide more of the same: middling liberalism through the prism of a bumbling politician. At least Loretta was entertaining; Lou has all the personality of a lukewarm water jar.

Dana Rohrabacher. How the hell has OC's senior career politician survived all these decades in office without a liver transplant? Why are his congressional staffers still not regularly wiping the mustard, grease and booze stains from his polyester suits? And what's with the shirtless Putin pic in his wallet?

Darrell Issa. About the only thing this über-rich South County snake votes for is pay raises for members of Congress. Even his own party refused his plea to extend his attack-dog role as Chair of Oversight. Boot this Trump-lover (and Loretta supporter?!) out of Congress, and watch him chant, “Benghazi” all the way home.

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STATE ASSEMBLY

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Matt Harper. The incumbent is Huntington Beach politics at its worst: pro-Dana Rohrabacher, pro-Poseidon desal plant and anti-style (his constant use of cocked fedoras suggests a high-school dweeb auditioning for Guys and Dolls). Even worse, when he tried to submit a bill in the state Assembly to create a John Wayne Day, he did so without the authorization of the Duke's family. That'll be the day when Harper has actual brains.

Young Kim. In hopes of blocking Sharon Quirk-Silva from retaking a Fullerton-area state Assembly seat, Kim wins hands-down for employing California's most despicable campaign tactic of 2016 by claiming Quirk-Silva, an accomplished elementary-school teacher and decent person, supports—get a load of this—child molesters.

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STATE SENATE

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Ling Ling Chang. The Republican assemblywoman has fibbed about her education and other qualifications but wants to join the California Senate to help her party block the Dems in Sacramento. She was four points behind Democratic opponent and military veteran Josh Newman until her corporate backers funded an endless stream of slimy ads accusing Newman of being a perv because he used the word “underpants” in a letter written to a female friend and Joe Boxer employee 30 years ago.

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CITY COUNCIL

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Dr. Kimberly Ho. The Orange County laser-treatment/skin doctor who wants to grab a seat on the Westminster City Council is endorsed by District Attorney Tony Rackauckas, but that's not the top reason to reject her in favor of far superior incumbents Sergio Contreras and Diana Carey. Ho's running a shameless direct-mail campaign blaming Contreras and Carey for supposedly causing an increase in local crime. Get real.

Jeremy Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi is campaigning to remain on the Placentia City Council and incredibly claims among his best attributes a “watchful eye for wasteful spending.” Under his watchful eye, a city employee spent a year embezzling $4.3 million, according to prosecutors.

Cheryl Brothers. The 70-year-old is seeking another term on the Fountain Valley City Council, in part, by advocating for Measure HH, a sales-tax increase designed to collect more than $11.5 million to supposedly cover the city's much smaller shortfall. No doubt the Republican loves her city, but she should stop with the lame Armageddon cries that public safety can't be maintained without the additional government grab.

Miguel Pulido. At this point, anyone who supports SanTana's Mayor for Life is an old gabacho, a gentrifier, Republican, a dirty cop, corrupt or a pendejo.

Dean Grose. That the Los Alamitos councilman still has a political career after resigning as the city's mayor in 2009 for sending out an email depicting watermelons growing in the Obama White House proves Los Al voters are stuck in an alternate universe in which Reagan became emperor and Democrats are harvested for their body parts.

Joe Carchio, Allan Mansoor and Jose Solorio. Each is running for council seats they previously occupied—Carchio in Huntington Beach, Mansoor in Costa Mesa, and Solorio in SanTana. Each was bad the first time and running again because they have nothing else to do in life. And each has relationships to scarier people: Carchio with HB's felonious ex-mayor Dave Garofalo; Mansoor with anti-immigrant lunatics who probably don't know he's half-Egyptian; and Solorio with SanTana cops. Plus, the latter is unconvincingly renting an apartment in Ward 3, a different area from where he and his wife own a house—how do you say “carpetbagger” en español?

Steven Chavez Lodge. A federal judge scolded the Anaheim Ward 1 carpetbagging candidate for his “arrogance,” “outrageous behavior” and “bald-faced lies” during a 1990 police-brutality case in Santa Ana. More recently, the retired dirty cop sent a mailer to West Anaheim residents implying he's endorsed by current Mayor Tom Tait (he's not) while ripping him on homelessness in Facebook campaign comments to constituents at the same time. Guess that judge had it right!

Lucille Kring. After fooling liberals and anti-Curt Pringle conservatives in the 2012 elections, the councilwoman proceeded to support every raid of the treasury by hoteliers, praised the fatal officer shooting of Robert Moreno Jr. for saving a trial, and even proposed more dog parks to push out the homeless. And since Kring loves short-term rentals so much, Anaheim voters better make sure it's checkout time for this one-term nightmare.

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SCHOOL BOARD

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Cecilia Iglesias and Angie Cano. Both running for the Santa Ana Unified School District (SAUSD) board of trustees, Iglesias and Cano are OC's Latina versions of Dr. Evil and Mini-Me. Iglesias is an incumbent hated by progressives for cozying up to the most homophobic elements of the city, as well as for ridiculing Valley High School students. Cano—who lost a SAUSD attempt two years ago—is indistinguishable from Iglesias, save one is Salvadoran, the other Chicana. Oh, and both are fans of Teresa Hernandez, the Lincoln Club member who proclaimed earlier this year that she loves Trump.

Claudia Alvarez. The longtime SanTana councilwoman is running for re-election on the Rancho Santiago Community College District board of trustees, ostensibly biding her time until she can return to the council. Legendarily petty and vindictive, Alvarez has also historically been a pawn of bad developers such as Mike Harrah and Robert Bisno. To paraphrase Trump's one good line: Drain that swamp.