Tom Segura Talks Babies, Bears and Where The Dudes At

Valentine's Day may be all about love and all of that mushy stuff to some people but this February 14th, why not make it a fun one by checking out the pure comedic genius that is Tom Segura. Will it be a romantic show? Not so much. Will it be hilarious? Oh for sure! If you and your honey (or your friends, no pressure here!) like to laugh and are into “real talk,” then this is a show you don't want to miss at the Brea Improv. Hey, laughter sometimes leads to sex so who knows…you may just get lucky. I mean, if shit talking and talking shit turns you on. We're not here to judge.
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OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): When I was digging for dirt on you I noticed that you don't have a Wikipedia page. What's up with that?

Tom Segura: No I do not. I'm not gonna build one but
people e-mail me and ask me about it. One day I guess it will just be
there, or it won't.

I mean, you're mentioned on several other people's so…

Yeah I know! It's on some peoples and it's on Christina's like, she's married to comedian Tom Segura but then that's it.

Well that's clearly your finest accomplishment so congrats on that!

That is! I am most proud of that accomplishment.

So sweet. Now you've lived and traveled all over but did you go to Afghanistan too?

No I didn't. But I did do Guantanamo Bay a few years ago. People
always think it's a prison but it's actually a huge Naval base and there
is like 25,000- 30,000 enlisted people there. It was a crazy
experience. I have favorite cities that I love to perform in though. I
love doing Vancouver, Denver, San Francisco, New York. I did Melbourne
last year and I love Australia! I can't wait to go back there.

Have you ever done a show somewhere that you thought afterwards, never again?

I haven't had one of those in a while but I've definitely eaten shit.
I did a show in Erie once that I hated. It wasn't because of the crowd
or the material though. It was just the management insisted on keeping
it so clean. I was like, you guys are taking all of the fun out of it!
It was just not fun to do.

But you are at the point now where you can pick and choose right?

Oh yeah! Now I would just not accept that! When I did it, I just
needed the gig. At this point I'd be like, you can go fuck yourself and I
would totally emphasis the work fuck so they'd know I am not clean at
all.

Fair enough. So we share another love beside dirty comedy and that is the Wu-Tang Clan. When'd you get into the Wu?

You can't go wrong with the Wu. They introduced a new style to
hip-hop and you've gotta respect that. They're the equivalent of like,
Nirvana. They changed everything, they're just so good. When I heard
their first single on Yo MTV Raps I was like, what the fuck is this?
That was when they all had white masks on. I think they're awesome.

Agreed! How'd you get linked in with Deathsquad?

Honestly it was just from Joe Rogan. I won a contest to do stand-up
and the prize was you get to open for Joe Rogan, Charlie Murphy, and
John Heffron. It was like six or seven years ago. So I got to open for
them in like, three cities for like literally three minutes. So one day
like, a year later I get a call from Joe Rogan and he was like, “Do you
want to open for me next week?” I was like, is this real? Then we became
friends and I started working for him a bunch and that led me into
getting in with Redban and that was it.

And the rest is history! I like how you guys travel around together and support the cause.

Yeah me too. I think about how so many comics don't do that and if
they did, how it would change their approach to the road. The thing
about the road that sucks is the traveling and sometimes your lonely and
don't even acknowledge it. When you bring your friends, it becomes a
fun experience. That's basically what those guys have done. You hit the
road with your friends and it's a fun time.

How would you describe your podcast “Your Moms House” for those who have never heard it?

That's a great question, I wish I was more prepared for that. It's a
married couple that is really silly and they talk the way real people
talk. When you see married people on sitcoms as you know, it's anything
but real. So, it's two comics who are silly and talk about anything and
everything.

So I think the question that is on everyone's mind is, where the dudes at?

[Laughs.] Casey knows, but he refuses to let us know. You know, it's
something we've built up on the podcast in the nonsense that we do. It
is something that I've been getting e-mails about but unfortunately, I
can't come through with an answer because Casey won't say anything.
There is nothing better than creating something really nonsensical on a
podcast and having people really get into it. I like making nonsense
grow, that's really my favorite.

Are you working on any new comedy shorts?

I just shot another one with Ryan Sicker that'll be out in a couple
months. I love making shorts. I hate producing them although you're
forced to sometimes but I love acting in them, writing them, and I love
directing them. Two Bears in a Cave is what Bert Kreischer and I decided
we're going to call our pilot. It's about two heavy fat, bearded, gay
guys. They just do everything together that two guys would want to do.

Will there be a bathtub scene in it?

You know now that you've mentioned it, there should be one.

And your sister just had a baby…do guys get “baby fever?”

Yes she did have a baby! How'd you know that?

I was at the hospital, I held the baby! Seriously though, hello? You mentioned it on podcast!

[Laughs.] Oh yeah! Yes, I'm really excited about that! I love it. I
definitely want kids one day. It's the first grandkid in my immediate
family and I'm super excited.

I was talking to Christina about when you guys have a kid and she gets morning sickness…

Oh my god. She can't even stand audio of vomiting so it's going to be
really interesting when she throws up. She hasn't thrown up one time in
our years together! Not one time! I mean, I've thrown up at least five
times since we've been together! Probably more!

Amazingly gross and interesting. So have you guys talked about
names should you happen to have a baby? I mean, you have so many names
for each other.

I really love the name Craphonso but I don't know if she'll let that
one go. I heard of a football player named Craphonso Thorpe and I was
like, holy shit! The first four letters of his name is crap, but it's
still a name. It really amused me so I'm really pushing for that.

I like it. I mean, I sorta like it. That poor kid.

[Laughs.] It's not terrible, I think it's a good name.

So your show is on Valentine's Day…any thoughts of renaming it “The V.D.” show?

You know, that's a really good idea. It goes in line in with what we do. V.D. is totally us.

Is your lovely wife Christina going to be with you as well?

Oh yeah definitely. That's the whole show. It's us two. It'll be a
really fun night. I feel like people try to make Valentines more than
what it should be. It should just be a fun time to go and hang out. I
mean, if you want to have your romantic dinner then that's on you but
we're just going to make jokes about our genitals.

Get your tickets now to see Tom Segura tomorrow the Brea Improv at www.improv.com. See more of Tom on his website www.tomsegura.com
where you can pick up the “Moms House Super Mommy Pack” and get your
very own “Where The Dude's At?” t-shirt! Check out his hysterical
podcast Your Moms House at www.deathsquad.tv and follow Tom on Twitter @TomSegura. The Improv is located at 120 South Brea Blvd. Brea.

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