Best Waitstaff That Demands You Ogle It Blatantly

Like some horrifying moment from Fame, like a musical-theater flashmob from hell, it begins without warning: You're hunched over your “Bucket of Crab” when loud music starts to play—”Love Shack,” “YMCA,” “What I Like About You,” and other tracks you've heard and danced to a million times. Then, suddenly, your server—you know the one we're talking about, the hot one—claps his hands and suddenly joins other waiters and waitresses who have started frigging dancing! Initially embarrassed that they have to do this to make a living, you may even duck your head back down into your Pail of Boiled Crustacean Remains, but your eyes soon drift back up to watch them, and it dawns on you that this is kind of coolly subversive, a crossing of the line of propriety usually reserved for mental patients. And they're not bad dancers . . . in fact, some are damn good. And, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's actually kinda . . . fun. Watching young, attractive people get all sweaty grinding their hips and shaking their asses—while you're putting something warm into your mouth—may be anathema to some, but we admit it was a good thing we were sitting down . . . if you know what we're saying.

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