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When the clock strikes 20 minutes after four in the afternoon, I like to honor the ganja gods just like everyone else by lighting up some of California’s freshest lettuce. Once the smoke clears it’s usually time for me to venture out into the world in search of something new to stuff in my face, and this last Friday was no different. I let the window down and pretended that I only spoke French as my inquisitive Uber carried me toward my destination, The Camp in Costa Mesa.
Most restaurants within the outdoor area that make up The Camp have been there since the days when Donald Trump was just a bad businessman instead of a bad President and everyone thought Louis C.K. was only joking about constantly masturbating. Still, when there is a sudden change of ownership, I like to get in and eat before anyone has a chance to taint my experience with their opinions which, let’s be honest, aren’t as good as mine because I get paid to do this and they don’t. Folks Restaurant opened its doors just over two weeks ago and I was eager to indulge in their signature Italian pizzas, salads and shareable plates.
The restaurant’s layout is simple without being plain and can easily fit your large party if you’re so inclined. I don’t have any friends so I found a table in the corner and tried to look normal while wearing sunglasses inside in the afternoon. Once the incredibly patient server had taken my order–a monumental task considering the amount of times I forgot what I was saying–I was ready for some eh-spicy-a-meat-a-balls!
The house-made meatballs were perfect. The second they hit my table it was like that scene in Casino where Bobby DeNiro first sees Sharon Stone and time seems to slow down. While I slowly made passionate dinner-love to my appetizer, I looked around and was thankful that most adults have real jobs, allowing me the freedom of sloppily enjoying myself without fear of judgment. I shrugged off any negative thoughts as I bit into the bread that was served alongside my baseball-shaped amigos. Absolutely spectacular, with camera-ready, charred-grill marks running across each side, the flavor somehow combined every summertime barbecue taste with the feeling of climaxing with a partner who’s at least twice as hot as you are. Bravo, Folks, bravo.
Next time you find yourself trying desperately to find parking at The Camp, go ahead and relieve some of that stress with a glass of wine and literally anything on this menu. You’ll be glad you did, and if you see me out in public go ahead and give me some weed. It’s the least you can do after all the work I put into constantly finding food to eat for your entertainment.
Folks Restaurant at The Camp, 2937 Bristol St., Ste. A102, Costa Mesa, (714) 617-4888.
Jefferson Matthew VanBilliard is a leo that enjoys all things cannabis and is just trying his best. He let us know that although the desert will always be his home you can find him on Fourth St. in Santa Ana battle rapping teenagers or at the local high school where he coaches girls varsity volleyball without anyone’s permission.
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