Let’s face it—online dating can be a little overwhelming, a tad frustrating, and maybe even, dare I say, fun! As a dating coach, I’ve seen it all, but nothing beats the insights that come straight from the source. Recently, I had the pleasure of coaching two fantastic clients who were knee-deep in the world of swipes, matches, and the occasional “I swear that’s a six-year-old photo” moment. Spoiler alert: both guys are now thriving in their love lives!
Let me introduce you to Mark, a 64-year-old business executive from Huntington Beach, and Tim, a 55-year-old technopreneur from Laguna Beach. These two came to me with busy schedules, a bit of online dating baggage, and the desire to cut through the nonsense and meet genuine women. Golf and basketball were higher on their priority lists than endless chats on dating apps, so they needed results—and fast.
Here’s what went down.
The Leap into Online Dating
Mark was like a lot of people out there—divorced, busy raising two teens and trying to juggle a career that had him traveling 85% of the time. “I wasn’t going to meet anyone at work,” he admitted. “Plus, dating was basically banned at my office. So, online dating it was. I figured it couldn’t be that hard, right?” Famous last words, Mark.
Tim, on the other hand, jumped into online dating with a techie’s mindset. “I looked at the numbers, saw that everyone was doing it, and thought, ‘This is a no-brainer.’” But after three months of juggling multiple apps and profiles, even this organized entrepreneur was ready to pull his hair out. “I realized I needed someone to vet the options for me. There’s just too much out there!”
The Hesitation Phase (a.k.a. Online Dating Anxiety)
Of course, like many online daters, both guys had their reservations. For Mark, it was the fear of being recognized—Huntington Beach isn’t that big, after all. “And guess what? It happened! Twice! But after I found out one of our company’s senior VPs was online too, I thought, ‘If he can do it, so can I.’”
Tim’s concern was all about privacy. He didn’t love the idea of putting himself out there for the world (or the internet) to see. “You could hide your profile, but then you’re limiting your chances. What’s the point of being online if you’re hiding behind the screen?” Fair point, Tim.
The Lazy App Checkers
If there’s one thing these guys had in common before I stepped in, it’s that they weren’t exactly putting in the effort. Mark would check his dating apps once a month—yes, once a month—and was wondering why he wasn’t finding anyone. Tim was on the opposite end of the spectrum, checking every day but getting frustrated with the whole process. That’s where I came in, helping both streamline their efforts and make online dating work for them instead of the other way around.
The Attraction Game
When it came to what made them reach out to women, both guys had a surprisingly simple approach. For Mark, it was all about the photos and a sense of humor. “If she made me laugh in her profile or if we had something in common—like this one woman who was also from Boston—I’d reach out.” Tim echoed this sentiment but with a bit more strategy. “I liked profiles that stood out with real, unique details, not just the same old ‘I love hiking and wine’ lines.”
And when it came to making the first move, both guys took it slow and steady. A message, maybe a text, and then a short phone call before meeting in person. “The phone call made the actual date feel like less of a blind meeting,” Mark confessed.
The Photo Dilemma
Ah, the photos. This is where things can go south really fast for both men and women. Mark and Tim were quick to admit that photos played a huge role in whether they reached out or not. “Full body shots, no baseball caps, and a smile,” was Mark’s criteria. He even took extra care to show he wasn’t misleading anyone about his height. “Apparently, a lot of men do that. Who knew?”
Tim had a similar approach but leaned into the activity shots. “Five photos—headshot, casual shot at a concert or game, and maybe a hiking picture. I wanted to show who I really am.” Spoiler alert: he also included a photo with his dog, which proved to be a real crowd-pleaser!
Advice for the Ladies
Now, if you’re a woman reading this, here’s some golden advice from Mark and Tim.
Mark’s tip? “Stand out with something unique in your profile. One woman mentioned she cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 40 people every year, and I was impressed. She sounded fun and ambitious!” Oh, and full-body photos are key—nobody likes surprises.
Tim’s advice was more of a warning: “Outdated photos are a deal-breaker. If I show up and it’s clear the picture was taken five years ago, I’m out.”
The Results
So, where are these guys now? Mark, who once swore he’d never get into a serious relationship again, is now happily committed (and maybe, just maybe, considering marriage). Tim has been dating Gail for almost a year. They’re not moving in together or rushing down the aisle, but they’re happy, and isn’t that the point?
For me, the best part of my job is when I get those texts with photos of happy couples—or even wedding pictures. After 30 years in the business, I’m still just as excited to see love bloom.
So, ladies and gents, if you’re feeling frustrated with online dating, remember this: success doesn’t come from endless swipes or perfect profiles. Sometimes, it just takes a little guidance, a lot of patience, and the right approach to find that perfect match.
More about Andrea McGinty
Andrea McGinty: Pioneering the Evolution of Modern Dating
Andrea McGinty is a seasoned dating coach and entrepreneur who has revolutionized the dating industry through her innovative approaches. She is the founder of multiple successful online dating services, including 33 Thousand Dates, which has become a leading platform for singles seeking meaningful connections. With over 25 years of experience, Andrea has helped thousands navigate the complexities of modern dating, especially those over 50.
In the 1990s, Andrea created It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking service that became a global success with over 110 locations worldwide. After selling the company to a private equity firm, she recognized the limitations of traditional matchmaking services, which often operated with a restricted pool of singles. To address this, Andrea launched 33000Dates.com, a platform designed for the 2020s that harnesses the power of online dating with a strategic approach. She identified that, when done right, online dating offers thousands of opportunities for singles to meet, far surpassing the reach of conventional matchmaking services.
Andrea’s practical advice, deep understanding of relationship dynamics, and innovative dating strategies have been featured in numerous media outlets, establishing her as a trusted authority in the field.
For more information, please visit 33000dates.com
