“Why Don't Mexicans Vote?” from Voice Media Group on Vimeo.
DEAR MEXICAN: Do Mexicans sling racial slurs at one another or casually refer to one another as “wabs,” similar to the way blacks call one another “nigger”? What's your take on the whole “nigger” thing, anyway?
Kingfish the Cabrón
DEAR BLACKFACED WAB: What do I think of “nigger”? Um, it's bad? I think you mean que pienso of “nigga,” which some etymologists and the Washington Post argue means something completely different: an appropriated term when gabachos and Mexicans use it amongst each other, a term of endearment when African-Americans use it to describe ellos mismos. There's no real comparison in Mexican Spanish, except maybe paisa and its regional synonyms (wab in Orange County, cheddar in Denver, brazer in Chicago and so many more—consult the May 13, 2010, edition of this columna for a comprehensive list of slurs that Mexicans in el Norte use against one another). But the big difference is that such friendly jabs use class instead of race; Mexicans use racial terms to describe only family members (the obsession by tías and parents to classify their progeny as güero, moreno or—my favorite—prieto azabache, “jet black,” usually used to describe horses, and a term my mami endearingly used to describe the Mexican's younger brother) and strangers. And while we're on the subject of “nigger,” raza: Can we finally admit to America that the term Mexicans use to deride blacks (mayate) is far nastier than the N-word because it means not only “beetle,” but also “homosexual”? The more you know about Mexicans, America . . .
* * * * *
DEAR MEXICAN: Why do a lot of Mexicans let their toddlers stay on the baby bottle longer than most kiddos? I work at a surgery center that specializes in children's dental surgery, and most of the patients are Mexican kids getting their teeth fixed from just such scenarios. I've also personally known Mexican mothers whose children's mouths were completely blinged out with dental work. Any insight on why the Mexican bambinos stay on the bottle so long?
Wean 'Em Off
DEAR GABACHO: You're right about the problem—multiple studies have documented the Mexican propensity for their chicos to suffer from what's scientifically known as early childhood caries (ECC) and colloquially known as baby-bottle tooth decay. The disease rots baby teeth, leading to so many kids making rapper Riff Raff's dientes seem as pearly white as a Pepsodent model. UCLA student Sally Chu's 2006 paper “Early Childhood Caries: Risk and Prevention in Underserved Populations,” published in the Journal of Young Investigators, found that “Hispanics have the highest rate of ECC in both developed and developing countries with an average prevalence of 13 percent to 29 percent, second only to Native American,” citing the seminal 2002 paper “Caries-Risk Factors for Hispanic Children Affected by Early Childhood Caries.” All studies cite poverty and lack of education more than culture, so I guess you want me to make a psychosexual joke about how Mexicans overall are still attached to their mami's chichis, leaving us perpetual infants. Well, you ain't going to get it, so I'll make it up with an insight equally as lame: Why do Mexicans like to drive lowriders? So they can cruise and pick strawberries at the same time. . . . HA!
I have noticed that many Hispanic children, even first graders, have gold work done in their mouths. It seems to always be on the bottom sides. Is this necessary? Are parents being sold a bill of goods so that dentists can make more money? Or is this a cultural thing…maybe denoting value and prestige? If you know, do tell. I can’t imagine putting children through that~