Thurs/Aug 4
Wow, so exciting: my first Eight Days ever—Commie Girl having left me for Mexico with the phrase “Be more funny” ringing in my ears—and I got paid yesterday andthis means I still have money. Some. Okay, fine, I'm borrowing from my wife just so we can check out the LagunaBeachArtWalk.Happy? Art walks are free, of course, but you never know what you'll find that you might want to bring home: weird piano key sculpture, nekkid lady painting, sand-painting-in-a-bottle, painting of a city in shades of neon green-and-orange. Actually, I don't have to worry about that last one any more; I won it at a raffle at Long Beach Arts when I was aiming for the weird piano thingy. All ages. 6-9 p.m.; shuttle service 6:15-9 p.m. Laguna Beach, (949) 683-6871; www.firstthursdaysartwalk.com.
Fri
Go see ShelbyLynnequick like a bunny, before she goes all Hollywood in November, when Walk the Line, the Johnny Cash bio-pic, comes out (she plays his momCarrie; she's how old?). Actually, if you know Lynne, you know she'll never sell out; she isn't made that way. Lynne raised her sister after her father shot himself and their mother; she didn't break big until her sixth record; and as a result, she's about as grounded as you can get. 8 p.m. $25. All ages. The Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 496-8930; www.thecoachhouse.com.
Sat
It sounds like a Hendrix reference—and I'm agin pretty much all Hendrix references (also: the Grateful Dead) at this point—but “VoodooChild:TheInteriorJourneyofArtistGreggStone”is actually Stone's mixed media (watercolor, gouache and ink) explorations into Latino life and culture. In Orange County—Santa Ana? What possible relevance could there be? Just go. Opening reception Sat., 7-9 p.m. Show runs through Aug. 31. All ages. SpaceonSpurgeon(AnUrbaneGalleryofArt),210N.SpurgeonSt.,SantaAna,(949)464-0105.OpenSat.-Sun.,1-4p.m.;andbyappt.
Afterwards, you'll be just in time to catch Fresno's finest, the rockabillyish stylings of CattieNess&theRevengeover at everyone's favorite shoebox, the DollHut.She's real purty, she's got a better accent than Stan Ridgway—which is saying something; he's had 30 years to practice—and the way she howls about alimony, you just better look at yer shoes when you're talkin' to her. Even better, just clap politely. 9 p.m., $5. 21+. Doll Hut, 107 S. Adams St., Anaheim, (714) 533-1286; www.dollhut.com.
Sun
Don't know about you, but I like me some flamenco, especially if it's a flamenco family, but especially if they're gypsies. Gypsies do everything better: dance, ride around in those little wagons, play guitar (Django Reinhardt), sell out-of-state cars. You can get two out of four this weekend, when the famous gypsy Farrucofamily are among those performing at the NewWorldFlamencoFestival.They've been doing flamenco since way before you were butchering The Hustle; they're experts. 6 p.m. $36-$100. All ages. Irvine Barclay Theatre, 4242 Campus Dr., Irvine, (949) 854-4646; www.thebarclay.org.
Mon
Take the day off—I know I'm gonna need to. Let your liver heal and your wallet cool down. Or else get up early and catch TalkingAnimalswith DuncanStrausson the way to Rally's. You work there. Remember? I haven't managed to catch Straussmyself (I amgetting closer), but the fact that he talks to animals-rights activists andsometimeseventheanimalsis, well, it's interesting. I don't know who could do that better than, say, EddieMurphy;probably no one, but I'm willing to give Straussthe benefit of the doubt—and so should you. Besides, the irony of listening to animal rights activists on your way to sell square hamburgers is, well, delicious. 9 a.m. KUCI-FM, 88.9, (949) 824-5824; www.kuci.org.
Tues
We'd probably miss DancingwiththeStarsor TheInsiderif we did, but my wife and I should go see the TheBolshoiBalletin its West Coast premiere of Dimitri Shostakovich's The Bright Stream—music by Shostakovich, choreography by Aleksei Ratmansky (just nod politely). I never could play Shostakovich very well when I actually played piano (that would be the '80s) but Shostakovich's angular, atonal melodies always made me feel smart. Then I'd finish playing, and my teacher'd tell me how I massacred it. Step and repeat. 8 p.m. $25-$110. All ages. Orange County Performing Arts Center, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Drive, Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2787; www.ocpac.org.
Wed
Get out—whoops, now Ziegler's suing me for copyright infringement (but I'll win on appeal)—of the house and get some cardio (I think that's what you get if you walk). Commie Girl would neverinamillionyearstell you to walk. The SierraClubspends its Wednesday evenings hosting a MileSquareParkConditioningWalkat—the title gives it away—Mile Square Park. It's a four-mile walk, they say, which must mean they go around all four sides 'cause it's as square as Alberto Gonzales. It's on flat terrain, and there's virtually no chance of getting lost and stranded and dying of exposure, but bring some water anyway—clean water—and some money for snacks. And a towel. Don't forget to bring a towel. 5 p.m. All ages. Brookhurst N Heil (parking lot behind basketball courts), Fountain Valley, (213) 387-4287; www.angeles.sierraclub.org.
Thurs/Aug 11
Dogs playing Frisbee: What more do I have to say? Not as intellectual, perhaps, as dogs playing poker or searching cars at the border—but could you do it? Didn't think so. It's all part of Fullerton Museum Center's Dog Days of Summer, at the Downtown Plaza—and played out by the Disc Dogs, a band of Frisbee catchers and their human partners. Other special guests—as if that's not enough—include McGruff the Crime Dog. 4-8:30 p.m. All ages. Free. DowntownPlaza,onWilshireAvenuebetweenHarborBoulevardandPomonaAvenue,Fullerton,(714)738-6545.