Someone on Reddit posed a question to bartenders: “What do drink orders say about people?”
The responses that followed are enlightening and pretty hilarious. Redditor pres82 wrote this definitive guide. (Note to self: No White Russians ever.)
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Kamikaze: I have no idea what to order.
Long Island: I'm here to get fucked.
Shot of Fernet: I'm from San Francisco.
Shot of Grey Goose, chilled: I have no idea what I'm doing.
Jäger Bombs: It's my new fuckin' hair cut!
Apple-tini: I don't like the taste of alcohol.
Johnny Walker Blue: I have more money than sense; I hope it impresses you.
Sazerac: I know what I'm doing.
White Russian: I have never worked in a bar before, so I possess a fool-hearted confidence that the milk in your reach-in has not expired.
Patron Margarita: I wish to spend $12 on a drink that will taste exactly the same as its $8 counterpart.
Rail Tequila: I'm here to blackout and get butt-fucked by a stranger.
Hennessy and Coke: “Can you guys play some rap music?”
PBR: Hipsters don't tip.
Gin Rickey: I just read The Great Gatsby for the first time.
Vodka Redbull: I'm gonna butt-fuck a blacked-out stranger tonight.
Cuba Libre: I'm too cool to say rum and Coke.
Red Eye: I just saw Cocktail for the first time.
Blue Moon: I'm a girl. “Can I get two orange slices?”
Three Wise Men: I'm gonna fight someone tonight.
Blowjob: “OMG! It's my bachelorette party–woo-hoo!”
Sex With an Alligator: I want to watch you fail at layer shots.
A shot of X split Y ways: I am from South Carolina.
Rail Vodka: My ID is fake.
Martini: “Oh . . . um . . . gin, I guess. NO, NO, NO! Vodka. Yeah. Shaken. Um . . . dirty? Whichever way has olives.”
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