[Editor’s Note: Welcome to a new monthly column from veteran punk Brad Logan of Leftover Crack, Rats in the Wall and the Adolescents about surviving day to day between tours as a working musician.]
On May 18, 2017 Chris Cornell was found dead from an apparent suicide hours after a nearly sold-out performance at Detroit’s Fox Theater. He was in the prime of his career, 52 years old, with a long and impressive legacy to look back on. 52–that’s my age. I don’t remember what I was doing on that date. But it’s safe to say I was probably looking for work between tours. That’s what I do, much as I have done for most of the past 20 or so years that I’ve been a professional working musician.
When I say “professional” I mean for the past couple decades I’ve toured the world countless times, played on stages in front of thousands of people, made records for labels I only ever dreamed of recording for and for the most part met every musician I’ve ever looked up to. Professional by some standards, certainly by my own. Still at the end of the day I don’t make enough money to live off the music, and unlike most people with 20 year careers I am in a perpetual state of starting over. Usually at the bottom.
I didn’t know Chris Cornell but I was a fan. And I surely didn’t know his reasons for pulling the plug on his own life. But I am no stranger to long-term clinical depression, drug addiction and alcoholism in my own life. Hell, I don’t even need to know his reasons to understand why. I have been at the brink many, many, times. Life’s a bitch simply put, and if a guy like Chris or any other seemingly successful icon who has done the same, feeling that doom was the answer to life’s questions. I had to wonder what it was that kept me going. And why? I know I’m not alone. There are many people in my line of work in this same spot. What keeps them going? Pushing forward. Continuing to create in the face of the shit-storm-life-blizzard that continues to pelt them.
Such is why I’ve chosen to write this column. Being a working artist is not an easy road. In fact, I would advise against it. You’re better off sticking with your day job, breeding, buying your piece of dirt and dying a happy death. I know everybody looks great and rich and famous and happy on IG, FB, Twitter or whatever the fuck, but that’s more often than not total fantasy. Over time the victories and successes become the little things; the completed piece, an idea clicking, getting what’s in your head into your hands. And it usually takes every piece of your soul to get there. And only really makes sense to those who have NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
So I wanted to dig deep to analyze the what, where, when and why of an artist’s survival. What musicians and artists are doing to keep the lights on while they work away obsessively on their chosen craft. It’s been said the life chooses us, we don’t choose the life. I already know self-destruction. And examples are well documented for those that don’t. What I’m not as familiar with, is the other side of that coin. Life and the will to carry on against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
As for myself? It’s been mostly a stream of music related jobs. At least In the beginning. Venues, record labels, record distributors, booking agents and tours as a tech for other bands. None of which came easy. Lots of slammed doors, un-answered emails, Un-answered phone messages, on seemingly endless loop. And when I was fortunate enough to land a gig, it was all about working my ass of like my life depended on it. Because it did.
I look forward to reading more
You are also a talented writer Brad. I am a friend of your wife’s. I like your line, Life chooses us?. The best to you as you continue to maneuver your life and enjoy your journey!
We correspond on FB under
Barbara Skyler
My man! Congratulations on the column gig. Can’t wait to read more from you and other artists make it happen.
Brad on a day that’s sad for some of us I’m glad to see you finding a new path to use your experiences and probably help others. Always fun memories. Glad you’re still with us. Keep it that way. Your friend April
Well said. Stoked you’re doing this column man. You will have at least one faithful reader.
Very interesting topic Brad. Thank you for the insight. I will look forward to future installments.
Great article. I am on this train non stop. Just got back from Europe, now looking for work again until summer, then back out, etc. Wouldn’t – nor couldn’t change it. It’s a compulsion born from creative need.
Thanks for documenting your experience, Brad. I know that sometimes when you talk about how hard it can be, there are people telling you how much they envy you, because all they see are the cool fun successes and not the labor that goes on behind the scenes. It’s just one instance of our repulsively screwed up culture, that I’m paid reasonably to answer phones but you don’t get adequately compensated for the work you do, considering its value. I’m so sorry I missed you this most recent tour; I’m glad you’re still out there doing your thing! I hope this column raises awareness about the reality of the lives of working artists, and at the very least provides some satisfaction by sharing experience and blowing off a little steam. You rule the whole fuckin’ school.
For over 20 years Brad Logan has been the all seeing eyes and ears of the Southern California Punk scene. A true unsung hero with an incredible perspective. This column is going to be great.
your the man Brad always were always will be
Great Read Brad Look forward to More!
Nicely written Brad, Look forward to reading the continuing column.
Looking forward to reading more of these. Been a fan of yours since the F-Minus days, and having the opportunity to work with on the promoter side was always a pleasure. Keep up the good work.
Brad Logan! Thanks for this article you wrote about me haha! Here’s to us brother, long may we rock! Ps I’ve openend my own tattoo shop to help actually pay the bills between Souls tours. Hope to see you soon! BK
Can’t wait to see what comes next. Go Brad!
Pulling back the curtain! Well done, looking forward to the next one!
Same can be said for the visual artists in the room. We may not go on tour, but it is so hard to stay on top of your creative output when you are always balancing odd jobs, hustling to basically stay broke just to afford some TIME. I wish artists could be funded just for how much we contribute to the world. What would it be without us?! OK end rant. Love you, Brad!