Friday, April 14
2:57 p.m. Listening to DJ Khaled on our way to the polo fields and Daniel Kohn says, “This is really the hair metal era of rap and people expect Kendrick to be their Nirvana,” (Denise De La Cruz)
3:44 Always gotta drop the pin when you park or you’ll be sorry later. (Daniel Kohn)
3:47 They reconfigured parking so you have to walk three miles to get three more. Yikes! (DK)
3:52 I just saw a young
4:05 To the kid currently walking in front of me, wait till nightfall to dumpster dive for that empty water bottle. C’mon. (DK)
4:08 The guy scanning people in looks like a high-yet-friendly cast member of Sons of Anarchy and he’s giving everybody enthusiastic hi-fives while yelling out “Whoo! Coachella!” (DDLC)
4:12 I spot a Kaskade flag flying high. Is he even playing the festival? Get it together. (DK)
4:20 Walking through this year’s art installations near the Coachella stage is like walking through a forest of oddly-shaped phallic statues. If Dr. Seuss had a dildo collection, I’m pretty sure this is what it would look like. (Nate Jackson)
4:25 Shout out to the older man I walked by with
4:26 Some guy in neon green short shorts is spinning around like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.
4:30 Ran over to the Mojave tent just in time to catch Sampha doing “Timmy’s Song.” Ok Coachella, you’ve officially started for me. (NJ)
4:52 Sampha just broke my heart and mended it too during his performance of “(No One Knows Me) Like The Piano.” (DDLC)
5:07 “Oh shit, where are my sunglasses?” a young woman says out-loud in a panic. “They’re on your head,” the guy next to her responds. (DDLC)
5:10 H&M store on site. Another sign of the big apocalypse (DK)
5:17 “Sometimes I just want to stay lying here and feeling sorry for myself but I can’t do that and neither can you!”
5:26 Some woman starts insanely bashing a coconut shell against Tower B2, trying to open it during Bonobo’s ultra groovy and texturally intricate set at the Coachella stage. Chill out, lady! Someone should tell her that this Coachella, not Castaway. (NJ)
5:27 An airplane banner saying “Everyone Must Get Laid Once” flies overhead. Odds are people here don’t need that Urban Outfitters advice. (DK)
5:37 “How’s it going in the expensive ticket section?” Mac DeMarco says to the VIP crowd. (DDLC)
5:51 The Market fruit stand across from the Sahara tent is basically just taking a typical Mexican fruit stand and adding $6 to everything. (NJ)
5:54 Mac DeMarco just slapped himself in the face with his microphone then howled as “Chamber of Reflection” faded to an end. This fucker is crazy and I like it. (DDLC)
5:50 Some guy has a poster of a
6:10 Tyler the Creator just walked into the VIP section to see the tail end of Mac DeMarco’s set, matching emerald green golf cap with a polo sweater and all. (DDLC)
6:11 Crystal Castles singer Edith Frances attacks the stage at Sahara with green hair and electric energy pulsing through her body screeching “This is your Coachella!” If you didn’t know that before, now you do. (NJ)
6:49 A young woman just set up a hammock between two small trees by Glass Animal’s set—straight Coachillin’. (DDLC)
7:05 “Everybody knows that this country is dope because of immigrants,” says The Gaslamp Killer as he begins a song with a three-piece band of immigrants from Pakistan. “From Pakistan to Detroit,” he adds. (DDLC)
7:20 The first thing I notice about Fr. John Misty’s set at Coachella is that he actually looks like he showered this time before getting on stage. His fans? Not so much. (NJ)
7:35 The Avalanches just grooved the fuck out of the Mojave stage. Everywhere I looked people were dancing or swaying to the beat. (DDLC)
7:45 Biting into the spicy, sweet teriyaki goodness of a Sumo Dog was definitely worth the walk to the new fancy food lines on the Coachella boardwalk which they added this year.(NJ)
7:51 The first time someone asks me for Molly this weekend. It probably definitely won’t be the last. (DK)
7:54 All I need at Coachella is life, love and Spicy Pie. (DDLC)
8:10 The 3D visuals of the Antarctica Dome at Coachella are incredible. I’ve never had so much fun sitting down at Coachella. If you have a few minutes between bands to smoke a joint and get your face melted, it’s definitely worth checking out. (NJ)
8:30 Guided By Voices at the Sonora tent was just sad. Despite being one of the architects of the indie rock sound with a whopping 24 albums under their belt, this year’s Coachella audience is definitely not their crowd. The giant warehouse-style indoor stage is barely a third full and the sound system in here definitely needs work. (NJ)
8:58 Venturing into a chill bro crowd even for the xx brings out the angry in everyone. (DK)
9:05 This is first time I’ve ever seen Richie Hawtin and it was pretty much just by accident that I followed a friend to see his set at Mojave. But watching him manipulate analog synth sounds live on stage with his new show called Close—Spontaneity and Synchronicity just made me a fan. (NJ)
9:11 Girl at the xx looks so hypnotized she reminds me of Rose in
9:17 I just ran from the Sahara beer gardens to the lost and found tent
9:27 “These guys are really fucking good” —some guy in the crowd on the xx.
You don’t fucking say. (DK)
10:31 I need to pee but the restrooms are so far and we’re so close to Radiohead—fuck, Bigchella is big!” (DDLC)
10:50 Light sabers are plentiful for Radiohead. Feels right. (DK)
11:05 Speaker sounds like it blew. This isn’t good. (DK)
11:06 Radiohead’s sound problems persist during “Airbag.” Hopef
11:13 Radiohead technical difficulties are now
11:15 To the guy passed out during Radiohead with his hands in his pants Al Bundy style—you the real MVP (NJ)
11:20 I had a five-minute dance party on my way to the cleaner porta potties by the Yuma tent. I also met the legendary Yuma tent disco shark for the first time. (DDLC)
11:26 “Anyone selling tickets?!” the scalper barks on our way out. Someone with a wristband should go up and show it to him and remind him that none of us have tickets. (DK)
12:00 Radiohead re-started their set and it’s absolutely beautiful. They’ve played “Creep”, “Karma Police” and now, “Paranoid Android.” A Mexican tourist by me is so overwhelmed with emotions during “Paranoid Android” that he’s on his knees, kissing the ground and openly weeping. (DDLC)
Saturday, April 15
12:47 Things overheard on day two of Coachella: “I gotta see Lady Gaga today. I bet you she’s going to come out in a fucking space ship or something.” (DDLC)
1:30 “It’s like Fort Knox up in this bitch,” says the girl in front of me as security pats her down and thoroughly checks her bag TSA style. (DDLC)
1:41 There’s a “Cheeba Chews” ad banner flying across the sky. It’s pretty crazy how pot ads are becoming so public. (DDLC)
2:10 “Thank you very much for listening to us. We’ve come all the way from Argentina and we didn’t think this could happen,” says the lead singer and guitarist of Las Ligas Menores. A multi-racial crowd in the Sonora tent cheers. A guy in the crowd is wearing an Argentinian jersey. Las Ligas Menores sound like a mix between Nirvana and Surfer Blood with a female vocalist singing in Spanish. Their crowd chants “Otra!” (Another one) They rip into a faster pop punk Argentinian surf rock jam and the crowd breaks into a dance pit (let’s say a “softer” mosh pit.) “Otra!” is chanted again but Las Ligas Menores are out of time. (DDLC)
2:15 The Sonora tent is like a weird desert themed Nickelodeon warehouse with couches and beanbags facing the stage. I see a giant cactus wearing a pink bra on the stage and I like it. (DDLC)
4:24 First nip slip of the day spotted in the parking lot. It’s gonna be a long day out here. (DK)
4:25 During my interview with Las Ligas Menores, they notice Adrian Young from No Doubt in the press tent and start to fan out. They also jokingly admit that the biggest representation of OC they’ve seen in Argentina is from the Fox TV drama… : ( (DDLC)
4:29 Bros in Hawaiian Tommy Bahama button down shirts belong at the golf course, not Coachella. (DK)
4:30 My friend is double fisting with a bottle of Emergen-C and water—”responsible-
4:32 The ticket man from last night is still looking…someday he’ll find what he’s looking for. (DK)
4:35 It’s 95 plus degrees at Coachella and Chicano Batman are still wearing matching suits while frontman Bardo Martinez makes some funky love to the keyboard. (DDLC)
4:40 We got a party in the security lines as a bro is blasting Pitbull from his boom box. (DK)
4:48 Someone in the crowd just shouted “
5:15 A young Chicana holds her Mexican flag and Virgen de Guadalupe scarf during Chicano’s Batman’s “This Land is Your Land.” (DDLC)
5:20 Wearing sheer tops with no bra underneath is definitely a thing this year. #freethenipple (NJ)
5:50 Thundercat brings out the Sheep Dog of Soul aka Michael McDonald to do their song “Show You The Way,” and back him up on keys during “Them Changes.” It’s like watching Desert Trip and Coachella at the same time. (NJ)
6:05 Realizing he might not have the attention of this many young people in one place ever again, McDonald hits us with his 1985 classic “What a Fool Believes.” If there were ever a way to make your parents jealous about missing out on Coachella, this is probably it. (NJ)
6:23 First Chainsmokers t-shirt spotted. Facepalm. (DK)
6:45 Want to meet a ridiculous amount of women at Coachella? Stand still under the 2009 Coachella poster near the Ferris Wheel during sunset and watch them flock to you and ask you to take iPhone photos of them and their friends. (NJ)
7:55 Pretty fitting that Migos, the forefathers of Atlanta’s current hip-hop sound, are all wearing the most egregious pairs of dad jeans while on stage with Future. (NJ)
8:00 Norwegian DJ duo Röyksopp make their glorious return to Coachella after at least a decade away. They melted minds in Sahara with a set heavy on new songs, vertigo-inducing visuals, a Robotic vocoder helmet and Swedish singer Jonna Lee stalking around the stage in full-length leather arm gauntlets. (Niyaz Pirani)
8:10 Drake pops up on-stage with Future…people ran there like a herd of buffalo, or more akin to the raptors in Jurassic Park. (DK)
8:15 Drake looks like a safety cone with that orange vest on. I guess it works because people are definitely creating a traffic jam to the stage to get a taste of “Fake Love.” (NJ)
8:29 If only Coachella had an In-N-Out stand. (DDLC)
8:38 I just walked by a condom on the field in front of the Ferris Wheel, it was unused if anyone is wondering…(DDLC)
8:44 ScHoolboy Q being usual charismatic
8:48 Fighting between friends about who they should see between next Bon Iver and SchoolboyQ. These are the types of arguments you can only have at Coachella without getting laughed at. (NJ)
9:05 A$AP Rocky AND Tyler, the Creator join Q to the joy of the crowd. (DK)
9:08 The ground is literally shaking when Martin Garrix starts his set. (NJ)
9:14 My Salvadoran mom would chew me out if she knew I just paid $10 for a pupusa but it’s fucking delicious and a family of immigrants was running the stand so at least I feel morally good about not funding hipster chef appropriators. I did, however, have to school a gabacha in line for pupusas about the dish being from Central America, not South America. (DDLC)
9:50 Justin Vernon of Bon Iver plugging his own festival at the end of his set is just weak and desperate. (DK)
10:09 Aimless wandering has got me in the middle of the crowd for Lady Gaga, about 20 ft away from the stage dead center. Help! (DK)
10:18 Got out alive, phew. (DK)
10:25 I thought I might be able to make it through an entire day at Coachella without hearing “Bad and Boujee.” How silly of me,DJ
10:36 Lauryn Fucking Hill. (DDLC)
10:44 Lauryn Hill pops up on-stage with DJ Snake. Has one person milked a single album for the past 20 years better than her? (DK)
11:10 Plenty of makeout sessions going ahead of Gaga. (DK)
11:15 Dropping acid during Lady Gaga’s set is the most intense concert experience you’ll ever have…so I hear. (NJ)
12:30 I came to Coachella uninterested in Lady Gaga and mostly ignorant of her music, but her intense blend of edgy art, dance moves, raw talent and humility have won me over. One of the greatest sets to ever hit the polo field and I’ve seen a lot of them. (NP)
12:31 a.m. “You ever run out of saying love like you need another word stronger than love?” Lady Gaga says as she fights back tears and plays her piano into “Speechless.” Meanwhile, I’m fighting back tears too. (DDLC)
12:50 The crew around me wants to vogue out to “Poker Face.” (DDLC)
12:55 I’ve always loved “Bad Romance” but tonight my hands formed into claws and I started to swing my hips like Gaga’s dancers. I’ve officially become a Little Monster. (DDLC)
1:42 I’m sitting down and taking in a good vibe at Beat Cinema’s Turn Down tent. George Michael and Childish Gambino was just mixed and my music editor, an 11 time Coachella veteran just told this second timer that “Coachella is about discovering something new about yourself.” Shit gets deep at the Turn Down tent. (DDLC)
Sunday, April 16
1:20 p.m. As I walk into the entrance on the yellow path, I see a tall bro running away from three security guards. They eventually catch him by the shirt and push him down to the floor. In less than a minute, 10 security guards are at the scene for back up. Early lesson of the last day—don’t mess with Coachella, Coachella always wins. (DDLC)
1:40 Mexico City’s Los Blenders just destroyed their set and had the largest turnout I’ve seen for the Sonora stage all weekend—mind you, it’s barely 1p.m. and on a Sunday. I also never thought that I’d witness a Mexican punk mosh pit immediately before “El Jalisciense” by Vicente Fernandez drops to abruptly end a set—well done, Blenders, well done. (DDLC)
2:34 Droppin’ that pin for the last time. (DK)
2:44 Phone crapped out, and I don’t have my backpack on me. Ay caramba! (DK)
3:17 It would have been nice to take photos from the top of the Ferris Wheel, but, you know. No camera nor phone. (DK)
4:13 Not having a working phone here is such a relief to the point where I’m taking handwritten notes on a napkin. (DK)
3:27 Two stepping to Lee Fields and the Expressions is exactly where I want to be on this sunny Sunday afternoon. (DDLC)
3:50 It’s an uptempo electronic dance rap party at Goldlink’s set—best believe I’m shaking my hips right now. (DDLC)
4:49 Don’t people get tired of snapping the perfect photo? (DK)
5:13 A pedal cab driver with the most gorgeous Zeus beard I’ve ever seen just whizzed past me with Warren G’s “Regulate” blasting from the stereo in his back seat and disappeared into the crowd. Feels like I just saw a shooting star. (NJ)
5:23 Always nice seeing the crew from Grouplove.
5:30 Laying down on the grass listening to Devendra Banhart is quite lovely and relaxing—you should try it sometime. (DDLC)
6:15 Group Love wins the Coachella Cover Song Contest award for their cover of “Sabotage.” I’m sure MCA from The Beastie Boys is looking down and smiling as singer/guitarist Christian Zucconi and his bandmate Hannah Hooper roll around on the ground tangled up in microphone cables during the “Waaaaooohhhh!” part of the song. (NJ)
6:24 I
6:25 Frustrated man can’t find a bathroom so he kneels down between two trash cans to take a piss. Yes, it was as awkward as it sounds. (NJ)
6:30 We decide that if Kevin Spacey in American Beauty had a second flick where he just smoked weed, lifted weights and started a metal-influenced Morrissey tribute band, that band would be Future Islands. (NP)
6:49 The phone works again! Should I be happy or sad? (DK)
6:51 Multi-instrumentalist madman Jack Garratt at the Gobi tent reminds me of Harry Potter. Not just because he’s English, but also because for his ability to creat so much sonic magic with a single drumstick that might as well be a magic wand. (NJ)
7:11 Watching sunburned people take selfies with
7:21 Coachella, why with all this space and more people, do you bum me out and make
8:10 “It takes a special type of crazy to bring an orchestra into the desert,” says Hans Zimmer in his delightful German accent. “But it had to be done.” (NJ)
8:13 The cello solo at Hans Zimmer’s set just turned this festival into CoaCello. (DDLC)
8:15 Seriously, this female cellist is going HAM on her instrument during her solo concerto in front of a choir doused in a rainbow of stage lights. She sneers and growls at her instrument like a woman possessed. (NJ)
8:21 All of the Coachella hipsters accidentally dressed like Jack Sparrow during this Pirates of the Caribbean suite is pretty amazing. (NJ)
8:45 Who knew Hans Zimmer and Pharrell were so tight? Watching the N.E.R.D. rapper perform his song “Freedom” in a yellow hoodie and shades might be the best cameo of the night. (NJ)
9:46 A guy with a flamboyant voice just walked by and
9:56 Justice is making me feel like a terminator that has been sent on a mission to destroy the dance floor. (DDLC)
10:09 I just found Spicy Pie crust crumbs in my bra, I’m saving it for later. (DDLC)
11:30 This timestamp hurts to type because I love Kendrick Lamar’s music and his artistry but his live performances have fallen flat for me three times in a row now. Remarkable large scale rap performances are hard to come by. (DDLC)
11:45 Whether or not this is the best headliner performance I’ve seen, this is definitely a proud moment for West Coast rap, and Kung Fu movies. Seriously, the Kung Fu Kenny video skits they played in between Kendrick’s set were probably the best part of this show. (NJ)
12:31 “We left Kendrick just to go see someone who played Kendrick,” said a young woman exiting the festival. (DDLC)
1:35 I just rolled down one of the grassy rolling hills in the campgrounds. My squad told me I have perfect form and now I’m thinking I should really look into Olympic luge sled training. (DDLC)
