Dana Watch: Cracks Are Showing

Illustration by Bob Aul

While touring a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detention facility in Irvine on July 20, Representative Dana Rohrabacher (R-Putin’s Baby Cage) was ready to spout off to a reporter about those dastardly illegals, but the journo had another issue on his mind.

By the time Rohrabacher’s bodacious beer belly crossed the Irvine city line, it was well-known that he had a Kremlin code name; been warned by the FBI that Russian intelligence was playing him; been suspected of being paid and/or under the influence of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s regime; turned up in the U.S. Justice Department’s investigation into possible collusion between Russian officials and Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign; and, in the latest twist, been linked to suspected covert Russian agent Maria Butina, who is in federal custody.

Huntington Beach’s Surfin’ Congressman, who has been outed as much too cozy with the Putin regime by senior politicians within his own party, including Orange County congressional delegation mate Ed Royce (R-Brea), told the reporter at the ICE tour, “There’s no conditions; you can ask whatever you want.” But when Rohrabacher was asked about his 2015 meeting with Butina, he blew up. “I think you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to divert attention onto another . . .” Rohrabacher said before being drowned out by crosstalk. He later pointed at the reporter and barked, “Wait a minute. Don’t argue with me. Are you up here doing the press conference?”

He demanded to know where the reporter worked, and after being told, Rohrabacher became the inquisitor. “They teach you . . . to not let someone make his case and interrupt him? Is that what they teach you? Is that what they teach you?” As the reporter tried to answer, Rohrabacher shot back with, “Wait a minute! You don’t get a chance to argue with me!”

The man-baby then got downright Trumpian, accusing the media of “arrogance,” spreading “fake news” and willfully avoiding “the security of our country at our borders” in favor of the “bogus” Russia investigation. He also claimed the public is on his side, that he is not hiding from anyone and that reporters “should be ashamed” of themselves “for trying to divert attention away from an honest issue like this.”

That sound you hear from Huntington Beach is the cracking noise from a certain congresshole.

Got Dana Watch fodder? Email mcoker@ocweekly.com.

Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the paper’s first calendar editor. He went on to be managing editor, executive editor and is now senior staff writer.

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