Desert Trip aka Oldchella (Weekend 1)
Empire Polo Field
10/7-9/2016
Friday:
6:11 p.m. Holy shit. The parking situation is an absolute nightmare! The traffic cops have no idea where to direct people and the traffic scene almost resembles that clusterfuck getting into Woodstock from 1969 — at least from what I’ve seen and heard.
6:47 Finally made it in to the venue with three minutes to spare before Bob Dylan takes the stage. The reconfigured entrances, at least from the Yellow Path, are infinitely better than Coachella. The shorter entrance distance is A+.
6:58 Dylan opens up with “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35.” My boy is grooving and clapping to the “Everybody must get stoned!” hook. Proud, or worried about his future?
7:15 There’s an old dude rumbling through the crowd without a shirt and huge potbelly. Let’s just say this is a different crowd than Coachella.
7:21 An older couple just cruised by in a leopard skin suit and a get-up that would been appropriate for EDC. Hmmm.
7:55 As I learned early, a cookie is a toddler’s best friend, and a coffee in the heat is a parent’s choice of beverage.
8:15 Instead of cruising by, an old couple decides to impede my view and start fighting in front of me. These seniors need to know that double fisting aluminum beer cans can lead to arguments, which is annoying and, unbecoming?
9:01 The hour-plus interlude leads to stammering and angry drunk bumps and wobbly people trying to act their shoe size instead of their age.
9:37 A drunkish dude comes up to us and asks 37 questions. Who knew that the Desert Trip set was rowdier than Stagecoach?!
9:43 The Stones start off with “Start Me Up.” All is right in the world.
9:56 An even boffo-er looking Hulk Hogan strolled by. Not sure what that means, but it’s probably time to move to a different spot.
10:12 “Wild Horses” had the crowd cooing like it’s 1971.
10:28 The crowd wants more cowbell on “Honky Tonk Women.” I don’t blame.
11:25 Fireworks light up the sky for “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.” Day one in the books. Hopefully the exit situation doesn’t suck.
11:40 It doesn’t suck!
Saturday:
4:44 p.m. Got here early today to see Neil Young + Promise of Real. It’s way too hot, shoulda sat by the pool instead.
5:55 There’s a guy in the Mac and Cheese line wearing an Eagles shirt. He didn’t get the memo that shitty bands weren’t allowed at this festival.
6:01 Security is super tough today. Hey, leave the adults alone!
6:15 Someone left some period residue in the bathroom without flushing, COME ON.
6:39 Hey adults, here’s a pro tip: When there’s a two-year-old kid a festival, the last thing they want is someone they don’t know, they DON’T LIKE IT!
7:26 Neil Young is really for the kids, especially seeing how this group of infants I’m surrounded by are rocking out to “Powderfinger.”
7:58 Joe Jonas and some friends are getting after it.
8:01 Ronnie Wood just walked by and gave my kid a smile and a wink. Proud papa.
8:14 C’mon old people, don’t you know what a vape is! Haven’t seen this many cigarette smokers in years. Say what you want, but the kids at Coachella get it right with this whole smoking thing.
9:18 “Say Say Say” just blared over the PA before Macca’s set. Somewhere Michael Jackson is cackling with delight.
9:31 There’s an older gentleman roaming around with a Go Pro on his head. Pretty sure this scene is not for its intended use.
10:04 Macca’s jacket is off. It’s serious business time.
10:34 Macca just busted out “FourFiveSeconds.” Pretty sure the 60-plus crowd is baffled
10:44 Holy shit! Young just joined Macca on-stage for three songs. First major collaboration of the weekend is a great one.
11:03 Ok I’m bored by this. Adios!
Sunday:
3:49 p.m. Got here super early to take in the sights, sounds and wicked photography exhibit.
4:44 The gnats in the food section are out of control. Someone please drop some bug spray ASAP.
5:38 There’s a woman in a bikini lighting a cigarette while trying to hold a chicken sandwich, this could turn out ugly.
5:40 It didn’t! She’s a champ!
5:44 This is a much lighter crowd from the past two days. Thumbs up!
6:07 The Who are announced to go on-stage, but aren’t here. Hmm.
6:11 People, STOP TOUCHING MY KID'S HAIR!
6:20 There they are!
7:03 Townshend making dad rock jokes at a grandpa rock festival. Very nice.
8:12 The Who are proving why they were once the loudest band in the world.
9:48 Waters is rolling deep into the Floyd catalog. Songs that haven’t been heard in years.
11:04 Holy inflatable pigs Batman! Waters is going after Trump in a yuuuugggge way.
11:20 Waters pulling no punches, calling Trump a pig and a coward and more!
11:51 I need a vacation and this Coachella Cough ain’t gonna help matters. Not. One. Bit.
Daniel Kohn is a writer based in Southern California. With bylines in an assortment of outlets, Kohn primarily specializes in music with other interests ranging from sports to food. As a transplant, Kohn loves the beautiful weather and is glad he no longer has to deal with brutal winters. If you see him, say hi and of course, he’s always willing to down a beer or two…if you’re paying.
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