I ordered some Fucking Things at Smoqued BBQ the other night. When I say I ordered some Fucking Things, I don't mean I ordered any old fucking things. No, I ordered a menu item called “Chingaderas”, which is Mexican Spanish for “Fucking Things”, as in what you say when you're in a vulgar mood and you can't remember the name of the object.
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So what are these Fucking Things? Fucking Things are basically redneck toritos. A torito–which should really be on every Mexican and “Mexican-inspired” (ahem, Chili's) menu in this country–is a cheese- and shrimp-stuffed jalapeño wrapped in bacon and griddled. Smoqued takes it one step further by taking the resulting torito, breading it, deep-frying it, and serving it with raspberry-chipotle sauce.
Let's recap, in case there are any observant Jews who haven't yet collapsed in despair: cheese; shrimp; chile; bacon; deep-fried; sweet sauce.
If this sounds a bit over the top, it is, but it works bizarrely, disconcertingly, heart-stoppingly well. These are some seriously great Fucking Things. I would go so far as to say that you should hie yourself down to the Orange Circle and order the Fucking Things for yourself. You're going to be tempted to order fried avocados; skip them and have two orders of Fucking Things instead.
Just watch out, because eventually some Mexican abuelita at the next table (or your own) is going to hear you order them, and she's going to throw her chancla at you so hard it'll leave an Adidas-striped dent in your skull.
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