Identical twins and stand-up comics Cory and Chad (a.k.a. The Smash Brothers) produce and host “The Dirty Show” at the Ontario Improv and in case the name of the show isn't obvious enough, let's just say these guys aren't for the faint of heart. With that said, when these guys hit up the Irvine Improv this Thursday through Saturday (opening for Ralphie May), you might want to skip the invite to your square and prude buddies. Don't believe us? We're pretty sure this song list will prove that we're not liars and that these guys are downright hysterical in the rawest and filthiest possible way. We knew when it came to giving us “Five Songs That Didn't Get Radio Play For Obvious Reasons” there was no one better to do it than Cory and Chad because these bad boys are so good in the naughtiest way. Hey. We warned you!
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5. AMG, “Bitch Betta Have My Money”
This song came out in 1991 and at that time, we were freshmen in high school. This song taught us early on that bitches will get your money! The lyrics are all about pussy, money, sexual positions, and how to truly treat ho's. Basically, if you do the opposite of what AMG is saying in this song, you won't catch a rape charge.
4. 2 Live Crew, “Pop That Pussy”
“Pop That Pussy” is also another great song from 1991. Radio had a version of this song called “Pop That Coochie.” This song taught us about strippers, hookers, and to make sure you wear condoms on dirty bitches.
3. Brian McKnight, “Ready to Learn”
“Ready to Learn” is a classic song about teaching woman how their pussy works and that if played with correctly, they can squirt out of their vaginas like a broken sprinkler. Grab your snorkel and mask boys and pop this CD in and let the magic happen!
2. Project Pat, “Run a Train”
This song will teach you proper etiquette on the do's and dont's of group sex. Some folks might not know that you have to spit on it before you rub it down and make sure you call out to be the caboose on the train. It's kinda like calling shotgun when you drive with someone else. Oh yeah, and to say please and thank you.
1. Riskay, “Smell Yo Dick”
Perfect stocking stuffer of an album. This is a song that teaches women to smell their man's dick when he comes home at 4 in the morning. It also teaches men to get a gym membership and to shower up before you come home when your out cheating all night. Then your balls aren't all glazed over like a Krispy Kreme donut.
You can catch Cory and Chad (along with Ralphie May) at the Irvine Improv August 22nd through 25th, 71 Fortune Drive Irvine, CA 92618, (949) 854-5455. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more info check out their website www.identicalentertainment.com, find tour dates on their Facebook page, and follow them on Twitter @CoryNChad.
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Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.