Five Radio Hits That Don't Need Any More Airplay, According to John Heffron

Comedian John Heffron has a pretty hectic life and yet somehow, he always manages to stay full of energy while consistently keeping it funny. Just how busy is this guy? Well, he's getting ready to shoot his fourth comedy special, working on a book, he invades earholes via his hilarious podcast “Heffron and Reep,” and his stand-up act filled with observational brilliance packs venues while he tours around the country. Is that busy enough for you all?

John also used to occupy his time back in the day working in radio (with Danny Bonaduce oddly enough) so we figured he'd be the perfect person to break down a list of the “Top 5 Five Radio Hits That Don't Need Any More Airplay” for us. Don't agree with his picks? You can tell him yourself at the Irvine Improv this Thursday through Sunday (June 20th-23rd) but please, don't ruin it for the rest of us who came out to get our laugh on. Wait until after the show.

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5. Eric Clapton, “Tears In Heaven”

This is one in particular I had to hear maybe six or seven times every morning starting at 5 am. “Tears In Heaven” is a depressing song and it's even more depressing when you have to hear it every morning. We would always go to or boss and say that nobody wants to hear this song and he would say, “It tested well.” That just means that they got a group of people together at 7 pm who wanted to make ten bucks to be asked if they liked this song. And then somehow, it made it into the rotation. It's just not a legitimate song to wake up and start your day to.

4. “LeAnn Rimes, “How Do I Live (Without You)”

“How Do I Live” because I can't get out of head that she actually says, “How do I leab?” She doesn't say “live.” She says “leab.” So sometimes depending on my mood, I get violently mad that she can't pronounce it. You would think if you were going to put a word that is in the title of the song, you could pronounce that word correctly.

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3. Lil Wayne, “D.O.A. (No Ceiling)”

As far as current stuff goes, I'd say anything by Lil Wayne. This is because if you're going to be an artist, a singer, and say you write songs, you have to have more than the word “uh” in your song. Just saying, “uh?” I'd even rather have the word “baby.” Music has been the same since the beginning of time but the word “uh” in almost any song bugs me. And, it seems like Lil Wayne does that more than most.

2. Paula Abdul, “Cold Hearted”

I don't think there is a purpose for any Paula Abdul stuff for anything. If you really listen to her, she is just so bad. And why did we give her four hits? I think an entire generation is to blame you know? She is even worse than Ke$ha which to me, is pretty horrendous.

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1. Kenny Chesney, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems”

There are a million songs that are exactly like this and for me, any country song that sings about what they are going to go on vacation or the island they are going to isn't good. Country music to me should be about people who are broke and lonely. I don't want to hear about warm breezes or the Jamaican vacation that you went on. It seems like a lot of guys are singing about what they are doing and it bugs me. It's like they are completely ripping off the Margaritaville guy.

Bonus Song:

I also think if you've been on a Disney Channel show, I don't need to hear any of your music. And that goes across the board. Like when I see One Direction, I just think there is some creepy 45-year-old songwriter writing a song about 15-year-old girls. That is exactly what is happening. There is a group of old guys writing that and radio should stop playing it all.

John Heffron performs at the Irvine Improv on June 20th through 23rd, 71 Fortune Drive Irvine, CA 92618., (949) 854-5455. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more info check out his website www.JohHeffron.com, tune into his podcast on iTunes, and follow him on Twitter: @JohnHeffron.

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