There's something undeniably erotic about Coachella. Perhaps it's the triple-digit heat that gets you hot and heavy, or maybe seeing some of your favorite bands all in one weekend gets your juices flowing. Or, most likely, you're in your twenties so you're perpetually horny by default.
But who has the time and energy to charm that cutie in front of you during the Replacements' set enough to ensure coitus? You have three short days here, so you gotta cut to the chase. Smart festival goers who think with their head hop on over to Craigslist for their festival, er, festivities.
Here are five of the most…interesting personal ads on the site from those looking for a little festival fuck.
See also: Coachella 2014 Band and Drug Pairings Guide
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5. Mom?!
This couple looks like your parents but party like your freshman year of college. Oh, and they say they're 36, and they probably were…a decade ago.
4. Stanky-sock-tonia
If there's one thing there's no shortage of in the desert, it's sweaty socks. Lucky for you boys, this person is willing to pay for your very own version of Stanktonia. Oh, and pictures are required, because you don't want to stick just anyone's sock in your face, amiright?
3. Don't Go Down That Road
Because nothing says safe sex like an online ad inviting you to hook up with a stranger at a place on Shady Lane.
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2. An Offer He Can't Refuse
. This man should be granted sainthood. He'll smoke you out and give you a blowie for free? If he threw in a plate of bacon we'd probably wife the guy.
1. I always thought Bert and Ernie were gay?
Oof, right in the childhood. Who would have guessed Ernie was a sex machine? We always had our money on Mr. Hooper…
See also:
Coachella 2014 Lineup Announced
What's it Like to Get Arrested for Drugs at Coachella?
We Hang Out With Some Crazy Marines Drinking Their Asses Off at Coachella
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When not running the OCWeekly.com and OC Weekly’s social media sites, Taylor “Hellcat” Hamby can be found partying like it’s 1899.
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