How to Play “Here Comes the Bear,” the Most Efficient Drinking Game Ever

Beer pong? Tired. Kings? Boring. President and Asshole? So 1995. They're
all really boring, and some of them are so slow you'll never get a buzz
on playing them. It's time for a new drinking game, and when it's time
for anything involving large amounts of drinking, the people to ask are
the Russians, who didn't consider beer an alcoholic purchase worth
regulating until recently. The Russians have a drinking game called
“Medvyed prishol” (“Here Comes the Bear”), which is the most efficient way to get drunk we've ever seen.

See also:
– Russia to Regulate Beer, Minors Not Yet Rioting
– Cure That Hangover! Top 5 Numerically Named Drinking Games
– Pizza Russian Roulette Is One Hilariously Messed-Up Eating Game
]

You'll need the following items:

• Large, sturdy table
• Large shot glasses
• Several bottles of cold vodka

Have the players stand around the table, each with a shot glass. Fill the shot glasses with vodka and drink the shot (za vashe zdorovye!). Then the leader shouts, “Here comes the bear!”

Everyone climbs under the table–tables having magical anti-bear properties, you see–and after a minute or so, when the danger has passed, the leader calls out, “There goes the bear!” Then everyone stands up at their place, the shot glasses are refilled, the shots are drunk, and the game repeats. The winner is the last person who can actually stand up.

Now that's a drinking game. Extra points if you say it in Russian: medvyéd prishól for “Here comes the bear” and medvyéd ushól for “There goes the bear.”

(Obligatory disclaimer: if you actually play this game, you are an idiot. This is how alcohol poisoning happens. If you do play this game and you hurt yourself or die, it is your own stupid fault, and you cannot come blame us, ponimayesh?)

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