It’s May 9, and as any diehard Dragon Ball fan knows, “every May 9 will be celebrated as Piccolo Day.” While that didn’t work out so well for King Piccolo, it’s still the day fans celebrate the anime around the world (although it’s technically “Goku Day” in Japan).
To celebrate, here’s who (most of) the cities in OC would be if they were Dragon Ball characters. Forget your scouter, this list’s power level is definitely over 9000.
Santa Ana – Gohan 
The most culturally rich city in OC, Santa Ana is in a transitional period where we’ll soon learn if it’s powerful enough to combat the innate evil in the city’s politicians, police department, and gentrifiers.
Costa Mesa – Goku
Not nearly as much fun as Santa Ana, but certainly a centerpiece on the right side of most regional problems. Costa Mesa probably isn’t getting all that much cooler or more powerful than it already is, and it’s occasionally been tempted to take an evil turn (*cough* Righeimer).
Newport Beach – Frieza
Almost entirely white? Check. More powerful than most others combined? Check. So committed to conquering the world that it could survive a massive spirit bomb and return from the dead? Check.
Huntington Beach – King Piccolo Daimao
There’s no more fitting place for a character with such a cold-blooded thirst for evil and proving dominance that he’s basically used to introduce the powers of every meaningful protagonist. The archetypical bro.
Irvine – Bulma
If OC’s going to have a dedicated inventing city, it would totally be Irvine. Plus, it just grows in relevance over time.
Garden Grove – Krillin
For a city that has a good amount of history and culture going on, Garden Grove sure needs to be bailed out and revived an awful lot.
Anaheim – Vegeta
It’s one of the only cities in OC anyone outside OC can name, and it’s all about pretending to be cooler/tougher/better than cities that don’t have to rely on one major power. Don’t act like you can’t imagine Mickey Mouse yelling “Kakarot, you idiot!”
Cypress – Nappa
Just because Cypress is close to Anaheim and gets some of the spillover Disney culture doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be destroyed for failing in battle.
Orange – Piccolo Jr.
Although originally a little bit staid and stereotypical suburb, Orange is using its heritage and power to come around as one of the better cultural cities OC has to offer now.
Fullerton – Chi-Chi
With a good amount of culture, Fullerton stays strong and supportive of the cities that need it most — but you don’t want to piss it off.
Laguna Beach – Yamcha
It’s really pretty but doesn’t actually do much of anything other than be sought after by people who don’t know any better.
Fountain Valley – Tenshinhan
Maybe the most generically suburban city in OC — and it’s been around forever — but it also doesn’t do a whole lot in the overall scheme of things.
San Clemente – Trunks
In the dystopian future known as South County, San Clemente still holds on to a pretty awesome chunk of skate and surf culture that’s really been thrown away or bastardized by a lot of areas.
Stanton/Westminster – Pan/Bra
One of these cities could really be the next cool spot in OC if SanTana gentrifies too much, but the other will probably continue to be pretty useless.
Yorba Linda – Mr. Buu
Go into pretty much any neighborhood in Yorba Linda and you’ll see at least one middle-aged guy who looks exactly like the fat version of Buu.
Brea – Majin Buu
Despite basically being connected to Yorba Linda, Placentia certainly has a wildly different personality—but still evil.
Lake Forest – Dr. Gero
As the portal to South County, Lake Forest probably didn’t intend to surround itself with even more powerful and painfully privileged areas (but it did).
Mission Viejo/Aliso Viejo/Laguna Niguel/Laguna Hills – Androids 16-19
Take your pick on which is which, but most of the area is pretty replaceable with each other. Plus, do any of the Androids look like someone you wouldn’t see in South County? Not really.
Tustin – Goten
Tustin really isn’t bad, but it gets overlooked sometimes because it’s next to SanTana.
Buena Park – Mr. Satan
Would any character fit better into Medieval Times than Mr. Satan? Absolutely not. The hair alone would be legendary.
Los Alamitos – Master Roshi
Unlike so much of the rest of OC that seems to get updated every few years, Los Al still feels pretty old. Additionally, it’s all based around the racetrack that brings in some of the perviest crowds and a lot of places could learn a thing or two from it.
Seal Beach – Cell
If you took elements of all of the beach cities in OC and rolled them into one conservatively evil city, it’d probably end up almost exactly like Seal Beach.
And we’ll let you decide, gentle reader, what characters represent San Juan Capistrano, Dana Point, Laguna Woods, La Palma, and Placentia. Which one of them is the Supreme Kai?
Josh Chesler used to play baseball for some pretty cool teams, but now he just writes about awesome stuff like tattoos, music, MMA and sneakers. He enjoys injuring himself by skateboarding, training for fights, and playing musical instruments in his off time.