One of the coolest things about comedian Jo Koy is that no matter how many times we see him or how many times he talks to us, he’s never old hat. Since we’re in the business of mixing things up a bit though, we decided to hit him up in yet another way before his back-to-back weekends at the Irvine Improv April 8th-9th and April 15th-16th. And that way folks, is with a round of randomness. And Jo’s way folks? Well, it’s crushing the game with incredible off the dome answers.
OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): What’s your guiltiest pleasure on TV?
Jo Koy: Oh man, it’s Love & Hip Hop. I’m embarrassed just saying that. It’s so embarrassing but I’ll watch the marathons too. Ughhh, it’s unbelievable!
Did you catch the Love & Hip Hop reunion show? It was horribly beautiful.
No, not yet! I saw it being tweeted out and I should’ve watched it. I want you to know something though, I’m a closet Love & Hip Hop guy. I don’t tell anybody this! When people are at the house and it’s on I just pretend I’m skimming. I know exactly what channel and what time it is on though.
Oh boy, well, I’m going to have to expose you. Sorry about that.
That’s fine. I’m addicted to all of them. They’re all idiots and I love them.
I’m with you. With reality TV I always think, if you put “wives” at the end of a show title, I’m watching it. [Laughs.] Yes! You are stupid! I love it. Anything with wives at the end is always a blessing! You’re so right. I watch all of those too.
We should start a campaign to get you on “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen and if it works, you have to bring me.
Oh my god yes. Let’s please do this.
Yes!! OK, off that and onto one fashion trend you want to die pronto.
There are so many! Why’d you say this? I have three off the top! Those little man buns. Those can go away forever and never come back. Number two is, Birkenstocks. Women wearing Birkenstocks? I can’t stand it. It is the fucking ugliest thing I’ve ever seen on a foot. A Birkenstock can take a beautiful foot and make it so ugly.
Worse than Crocs?
Oh hands down! At least Crocs cover the toes! I hate when people wear a Birkenstock, and their toes look like the Birkenstock. Oh dude, horrific toes. You just look at the person and think, go throw some socks on with those! Go ahead and do that! Now!
Your passion for hating Birkenstock’s is monumental and I applaud you for taking a stand.
They’re so gross. I hate them. I can’t stand when I see them on a foot. It’s like, what are you doing? And they’re not cheap! That’s what pisses me off! They’re expensive ugly!
What’s the third fashion trend you hate, dare I even ask?
Well it’s a toss-up but, it’s the boot category. It’s either women wearing Uggs or guys wearing Timberlands.
OK slow your roll, Koy. I love a man in Timberlands.
You love men in Timberlands? No! Ali. Stop.
Yeah but like a hot east coast dude that rocks Tim’s all sexy. Like Method Man.
[Laughs.] Oh my god I had no idea you had this infatuation with Timberlands! I love it! Hey listen, I’m in love with Method Man as much as you are, just stop wearing the Timberlands! Enough! You haven’t chopped down one tree, you haven’t worked on building a house, just put some Nike’s on!
I’m going to stand firm on disagreeing with you but anyway, you seem to be in fantastic shape so, what’s your exercise of choice?
Ummm oh god. What’s my exercise of choice? None! I had to climb over a gate today and it almost killed me for god’s sake! Fuck! I almost broke my hip and hey, have you ever broke feet before? I almost broke both of my feet!
If you were wearing Timberlands that wouldn’t have been an issue.
That’s true. If I was wearing Timberlands I could’ve just scaled the wall. [Laughs.] I guess for exercise though, I do like bike riding and basketball.
Yes on basketball. Watching, not playing.
You know what? They should make basketball players play a game wearing Timberlands. You would fall in love. [Laughs.]
I’m flustered just thinking about how hot that would be. What do you spend most of your money on?
My house. I’m renovating my house this year so I’m spending a ton of money on my house. Including, a brand new gate.
I have no idea what it looks like now but I’m sure it’ll look spectacular with a new gate.
[Laughs.] Yeah, here’s what the gate looks like now. Closed! Forever! You ain’t going nowhere!
Haha that god damn broken gate! What is your favorite way of wasting time?
It would have to be going out to eat. I love eating at restaurants. The minute I wake up I think about what I’m going to eat for dinner. I really do look forward to that.
What’s the most grown-up thing you’ve done?
I paid off my condo and gave it to my sister. That’s about the most grown-up thing I’ve done but I’m a child because I hang it over her head all of the time. You know I own that house right? You know who paid for it? [Laughs.]
Very sweet. What’s your “crutch” word?
Oh man! I think it’s “you know” or “uhhhh.” Uhhhhhh I’m such a fucking idiot. I like to say fuck too a lot. Fuck is such a great word. I really enjoy that word. It compliments a yawn, it compliments a sneeze, and it compliments a really bad shit. You know what I mean? Like, “oh fuck! What the fuck is in there?”
I didn’t realize it was so complimentary and I like that a lot. On the D.L., do you think Kanye really does like a few digits?
I mean, I’m going to change this question and say, who doesn’t like it? How’s that? Why are we focusing so much on Kanye? Who doesn’t like it? Tell Amber Rose I said that!
Well damn. Alrighty then. How often do you think about sex?
All the time. I wake up thinking about it. That and dinner. That’s what I call, thinking about fucking dinner!
When Kelis says her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, what do you think that milkshake consists of exactly?
Well, low-fat milk, a lot of chocolate, a little bit of vanilla, and just a sprinkle of green tea. Just a sprinkle though. Just a hint of it.
Sounds like Kelis likes to keep a healthy urinary tract. Props. Let’s attempt to end on a sweet note. What advice was passed on to you that you’ve passed on to your son?
If you can dream it, you can do it. My dad told me that. Follow your dreams and believe in yourself.
Grab your tickets now to see Jo Koy at the Irvine Improv April 8th, 9th, 15th, and 16th, 31 Fortune Drive Irvine, CA 92618, (949) 854-5455. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more on Jo, check out his website www.JoKoy.com, become a fan on Facebook, and follow him on Instagram and on Twitter @JoKoy. Also be sure to subscribe to Jo’s podcast “The Koy Pond” on iTunes.
Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.