You only have one holiday shopping weekend left.
Freak ya out? In order to help your lazy, procrastinating ass, we enlisted the help of drummer extraordinaire Josh Freese.
And why not? The man who rocks behind the kit for bands such as Devo and Weezer is also one of the greatest marketing minds in music today (editor's note: And he was also the subject of a Weekly cover story). When he released both of his solo albums, the drummer put together some of the most creative ideas rolled out for a single record. For as little as $5, you could buy a simple MP3 version of the record, and if you wanted to splurge a bit and fork over $75,000, well, let's just say you get a whole lot more.
That being said, we figure there's no one better to ask for shopping suggestions than Freese. Here are a few of his favorite things (in no particular order).
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- Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story: I'm about to order one for myself but don't think it would get here in time for putting up in my window this Christmas season. Pay a little extra and it even comes in the FRAGILE crate (FRA GEE LAY… it must be Italian).
- Any perfume or makeup for girlfriend/wife/mistress/mom/grammy/boyfriend or all of the above! It doesn't even have to be expensive. The whole point is draggin' yo ass down to South Coast Plaza and getting to go cruise up and down the makeup and perfume counters at all the nice department stores. Also, you have to check out the MAKEUP COUNTER BABES! (I suggest Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue or good ol' Nordstrom.) Trollin' the makeup/perfume floor has always been my second favorite thing to do at the mall (right after pigging out hard in the Food Court.)
- Gift Certificate to P.F. Chang's: Am I kidding or am I NOT kidding? Who knows? I'm not even sure what I'm talking about here but I do like P.F. Chang's and would be stoked to get a P.F. Chang's gift card in my stocking this year. I've said it before and I'll say it again damn it, “KUNG PAO CHICKEN WITH BROWN RICE!”[
- “The Tommy Lee experience” (which is for sale on my website.): Hey, it's only $7,500! “Engage in light '80s hair metal/pinup girl gossip w/Tommy Lee, Josh and Danny Lohner while a C-list Porn Star applies Corpse Paint to your astonished face. Next you'll be escorted to the opulent gardens of Castle Renholder where the four of you will be Throwing Bones under a midnight moon in a blasphemous attempt to evoke the spirit/entity of your choice. Oh yeah — BYOB.
- David Lynch's signature coffee: You don't have to like his yummy films to enjoy a cup of his yummy coffee. Yes, David Lynch sells his own coffee and it's good! Boy, I love David Lynch.
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Daniel Kohn is a writer based in Southern California. With bylines in an assortment of outlets, Kohn primarily specializes in music with other interests ranging from sports to food. As a transplant, Kohn loves the beautiful weather and is glad he no longer has to deal with brutal winters. If you see him, say hi and of course, he’s always willing to down a beer or two…if you’re paying.