Comedian Margaret Cho would like you to know something about the musical taste of the average lesbian. It's not just k.d. lang and Tori Amos shuffling around in their iPods. Their musical tastes can vary as much as anyone's. And sometimes they're looking for tunes with some serious balls. As a celebrity fixture in the LGBT community, Cho is a prime example of a bisexual comic who has enjoyed her share of the fairer sex while also being as vulgar, political, crude and comical as any dude. She has been honored with three Grammy nominations for her work, toured the world, and dazzled America by showcasing some fancy footwork on Dancing With the Stars–and yes, she likes her share of southern rock. Before Margaret dips into OC with her one-night stop at the Brea Improv and her two-night stint at the Irvine Improv, we called her up to tap into her musical (and masculine) side and get her top five picks on macho bands whom lesbians are secretly into.
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5. Van Halen
I don't know if people know this, but ladies love to scuba dive. For some reason, Van Halen are something they're listening to when they're going out on the boat or when they are getting ready to go. Lesbians also love musicianship, and Eddie Van Halen is an incredible guitarist. Oddly enough, we tend to like the songs with Sammy Hagar a little bit more. That's the ironic twist. Also, most of the songs we love are off the OU812 album.
4. Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock
Southern rock in general is very popular, although you don't see a huge lesbian presence at their concerts. I actually attended the Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock tour in the South. I was sitting up on the lawn in the very back, and I saw seven different people bleeding, all from different locations. Some of them had head wounds, some were vomiting blood, and I'm sure there were more people than that bleeding internally. Also, I had my period. So, yeah, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock are very popular with lesbians. You'd be surprised.
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3. Led Zeppelin
Led Zeppelin have always kinda looked like lesbians from their inception until now. It's breaking-up music, but it's also getting-back-together music. They also play long songs, you know, music to pack your U-Haul to. It's almost a tie between them and Pink Floyd with the long songs. Also, if you hand a lesbian a guitar, and she knows how to play it, almost 100 percent of the time, she will play the opening to “Wish You Were Here.”
2. Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, and Creed
It's a three-way tie between these bands because we all think it's the same band. To all sorts of lesbians, all guys look alike, and by that token, all guys sound alike. I cannot tell the difference between any of those bands. They're all the same in my mind, and I love them equally, but I think the voices are so similar that I think it's all the same dude.
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1. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The ultimate macho band that lesbians love–and my favorite–are Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. It comes down to the song “Here Comes My Girl” because it's the ultimate lesbian love song. I've always found a way to dedicate this song on the radio to every girl I have been with or sung it to her. All Tom Petty songs are great, but this song is just the thing that goes through my mind when I see a woman I love. It's the song I'm going to sing and feel, and then cry to when it's over.
OC Weekly: Wow. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this list! You rule!
Margaret Cho: Thank you! I also have some honorable mentions because I was having trouble trying to really narrow it down. I don't have a lot of reasoning behind it but Counting Crows for super obvious reasons, 38 Special, ELO, Garth Brooks, Metallica, Dinosaur Jr., Korn, and The Darkness because we do have a sense of humor. Jeff Buckley too because I think we really want to be him and he's the one man we would consider going to bed with. Also Jack White but that's because of Meg White and also the lead singer of The Dead Weather Alison Mosshart.
So that's kind of deflected because it's like Jack White but really it's Meg White but really, it's Alison Mosshart. Oh and one more, the Foo Fighters! All of their lyrics have really chick-like emotions but it's like hard rock. I like to call it “Virgo Core.” They also sound very clean like their studio would be very neat and clean. I've also been to their studio and it's true. It's very neat and organized. Their sound is clean like as in it isn't muddy or distorted like Dinasour Jr. I visualize their studio like it's a god damn mess. With the Foo Fighters you just know that everything is labeled and in the right place and all of the cords are perfectly wound clockwise.
Margaret Cho performs at the Brea Improv on March 5th, 120 South Brea Blvd. 92821, (714) 482-0700. She'll also be at the Irvine Improv March 19th and 20th. For tickets to either show go to www.Improv.com. For more info, visit www. MargaretCho.com, check out her podcast “Monsters of Talk,” and follow her on Twitter: @MargaretCho.
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Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.