Whipped Whiteys and Other Delights
Seven gabacho-hating Mexican songs
Okay, INll admit it: Mexicans can hate Americans. But at least we do it musically. In honor of Chicano punk-mock veteranos Manic HispanicNs annual Cinco de Mayo show, we present seven of the best gabacho-hating Mexican songs of all time, spanning the genres from ranchera to death metal to rock en español:
Vicente Fernandez, “Los Mandados” (“The Errands”)
In one of the ranchera iconNs few conjunto norteño efforts, he tells the story of an illegal immigrant who has been caught by la migra “300 times, letNs say.” But Chente ainNt sad: “The beatings that they gave me/I charged them to their countrymen,” he roars with glee. Given the recent $4 million settlement by Orange County for the beating of an illegal in Mike CaronaNs jails and payouts in the 2007 MacArthur Park melee in LA, maybe more Mexicans should follow this path to riches?
Los Hermanos Zaizar, “Corrido de Pancho Villa”
This song derides the Punitive Expedition, the 1916 pursuit of Pancho Villa by General John Pershing that resulted in nada. Backed by a jaunty accordion, the brothers Zaizar sing of thousands of gabacho faces “covered in shame” as they trolled northern Mexico with airplanes and modern weaponry in a vain search for the original dirty Mexican. Highlight of the song: When Villa flies over the Americans and waves adiós. Complete with old-timey biplane noises!
El Piporro, “Chulas Fronteras” (“Beautiful Borders”)
The Mexican Weird Al Yankovic spins a half-spoken-word, half-sung, all-riffs gem about a self-described wetback who now smuggles in immigrants and proudly drives drunk. The highway patrol pulls El Piporro over but succumbs to the temptation of “mucho caliente” tequila and lets him go. “I wait for you, or you wait for me,” El Piporro laughs. “Mejor (Better yet), you güey!”
Flaco Jimenez, “Un Mojado sin Licencia” (“A Wetback Without a License”)
Mexican hatred of gabachos isnNt always unjustified, you know? Consider this polka story told by the Tex-Mex legend: A Mexican wants to marry his San Antonio sweetheart but first needs to apply for a driverNs license so he can legally drive from Laredo. He gets busted for driving without lights and a license. Upon leaving jail, the mojado visits his gal . . . only to see her with the gabacho who approves licenses. He loses the car and the girl, and then goes back to Mexico. ¡Pinche gabachos!
El Tri, “El Muro de la Vergüenza” (“The Wall of Shame”)
This jam by the chilango rock dinosaurs starts innocently enough: A Mexican speaks wistfully about finding new opportunities in el Norte. And when he comes across the border wall . . . heNs going to take a piss on it. And then shit on it. And piss. And shit. And wipe his private parts on it. “El Muro” got the Know Nothing nation so furious that youNll see pirated YouTube clips of El Tri howling this song defaced with anti-Mexican rhetoric.
Molotov, “Frijolero” (“Beaner”)
Only in Mexico City can you have a gabacho rap about how the Southwest United States was once Mexico, but thatNs what happens in this surprisingly poignant song about the perpetual antagonism between Americans and Mexicans. “DonNt call me gringo, you fucking beaner,” drawls the American, but the Mexican one-ups him by labeling him a “pinche gringo puñetero”—a fucking wanker gabacho. Won a Latin Grammy.
Tijuana No! “Stolen at Gunpoint”
Is there any Mexican sentiment more tiresome than them whining Americans “stole” the Southwest? Tijuana No! were a pioneering rock en español group during the mid-1990s, but this weak rap is beneath them—and while repeating, “WeNre gonna get it back!” might score you points at the next MEChA meeting, it does nothing musically here.
Brujería, “Matando Güeros” (“Killing Whites”), “Raza Odiada (Pito Wilson)” [“Hated Race (Penis Wilson)”]
The first title says it all, but the death-metal legends also urge listeners to kill gabachos “Richard Ramirez style.” “Raza Odiada” is an ode to former California governor Pete Wilson (“pito” is slang for “penis”) back in the days when there was a good chance the man saved by Proposition 187 would become president and target all minorities: “First the wetbacks, then the niggers,” lead singer Juan Brujo growls. By the way: Juan Brujo? Totally nice guy—some of his best friends are gabachos.
Manic Hispanic at the House of Blues, 1530 Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 778-2583; www.hob.com/anaheim. Tues., 8 p.m. $17. All ages.
