Well the time has finally come to say goodbye to our friends at Newport Harbor. And I say good riddance!
I am beside myself with glee. This show officially stunk up the TV waves for far too long and needed to die. And dead it is. God bless America!
Here is the gist of the final episode. Chrissy leaves for college and has an emotional goodbye with her BFF Sasha. Then she goes on one final boat cruise with Clay who's staying in Newport because he still has another year of high school to finish. But these two lovebirds have decided to stay together and do the long distance thing. Five bucks says they break up in a month. Over under anybody?
Then, after a tearful goodbye with her parents, Chrissy drives off toward her future and her phone rings. It is her dad. Again. And Chrissy decides not to answer the call (how grown up!).
Cut to Allie who spends most of her time packing for the big trip to Europe and trying her hardest not to look like an idiot with her friend that doesn't matter to the story line. They fail. Again.
Here is a brief snip of one of their genius conversations:
“I'm hungry.” Allie says
“I know. So hungry.” FTDMTTSL says.
“I have French bread. Oh and its fresh!”
“Let's make French toast.”
“Where's your pans? 'Cause I forgot.”
“Here.”
“Do you have prongs?”
“I have a flipper.”
“Like this thing?”
“Um. I think that's for salad.”
I feel dumber just watching them try to move around.
]
By the way, I feel it is my duty as the show reviewer to note that the friend who doesn't matter to the story line has been in every episode and deserves to be in the cast just as much as Sasha. I mean, both girls play a sidekick to a main character. I think the only reason MTV didn't bill the poor girl as a cast member is because she is kinda chunky and not as attractive as the other girls. And to that I say boo MTV! You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Alright back to business. A big moment arrives when Chase pops by to say goodbye to Allie. It is an extremely awkward meeting to say the least. They sort of half hug and then Chase skateboards off into the sunset with Allie watching him in the distance. Lame.
Then you find out that lady-player Chase has decided to stay in Newport with his girlfriend Taylor and get a job at a real estate company. Meanwhile he keeps vowing never to attend another high school party because he is no longer in high school. This will prove to be extremely tough because Taylor is just a sophomore and still very involved in high school and parties. I mean she is a mini celebrity now for Chissakes. She will need to make appearances!
Anyway, the whole gang has grown up and now they are off to explore their futures. Hopefully without cameras following them. The show ends with Allie and her stupid friend saying goodbye to Newport from a camcorder in the airport “documenting” their journey.
“Goodbye Newps!” Allie says.
“Au Revoir!” Her friend ads.
“Adios!”
“Ciao!”
“How do you say goodbye in French?”
“Ko nichi wa!”
“We're not going there!”
God damn these girls are stupid.
