Oh, Dread

THURSDAY
Koo's stages a 21-and-over old-school electro dance night called Dance-O-Tronic(with DJs Jah, Yen Dang, E.Y.A.D., Kristina Band Random Ball o' Chaos, who oddly enough is always exactly on time) at QueSeraas a benefit so it can continue booking scream-y hardcore punk rock all-ages freakouts; in similar news, the Crystal Cathedral books Black Sabbath at a benefit to fund its boys' choir.

ALSO: Apologies to Wivesfor the Minutemen quote that got mangled (due to Chris Ziegler) in their headline last week. It should have read: “Wives live sweat, dream light beers.”

FRIDAY
Compton's funniest son DJQuikis less underrated than ever now, but please, keep pouring it on for the imminent release of his first major-label album since 2000. In a technical way, that might be a comeback, but Quik never disappeared after his rocket-launch debut in 1991, developing instead a very respectable reputation as a producer (getting serious recent spotlight on Jay-Z's “Justify My Thug”) and guesting with a long line of hip-hop high-profiles like Dr. Dre, Talib Kweli, Jadakiss, Kurupt, Xzibit and (most hilariously) Ludacris (on “Spur of the Moment”). Quik's newest single “What They Think” (with hit-insurance by Nate Dogg) puts some goofy pro-Cali shit-talking over a goofy beat; it's classic Quik style, though it's not quite “Sweet Black Pussy,” which started QuikIstheNamewith a sharp pinch to the ass. “Pussy” unfolds like a Richard Pryor routine and licked its chorus from the Althea and Donna reggae hit “Oh Dread,” except Quik changed “dread” to “ho.” He's never been a joke, but he's always hilarious: “Mama, I know you said you wanted a record you could listen to, with no cussin' and stuff . . . I tried.” At HOBwith an early and a late show.

ALSO: WarpedTourwrecks your little brother's future record collection with 85 bands and two different drumbeats. Those stuck on chaperone duty will appreciate the following sad and short list of un-shit Warped bands, all probably playing for six middle-school kids and an empty dumpster at 12:30 p.m.: cranked-up bar punk from the Riverboat Gamblers, fat-guy riff rawk from Fu Manchu, scientist rock from MikeWattand Peter Distafino, and then over on the Code of Da Cutz hip-hop stage, locals 2Mexand AwolOne,LA-ish indie-hop duo BrotherReade,Native American MC Quese 1,Japan-via-Nebraska girl MC Breathless, and defrosted Def Jux group Hangar 18. There's 85 acts on this thing, and for some reason we only mentioned nine. Because . . . the computer ran out of ink. Related: Don't miss headliners the Transplantsas they suck in three genres at once, don't miss the Offspringwearing cargo shorts, and don't miss Gatsby's American Dreamperforming on the SmartPunk.com stage: “Stifling as curtain dust!” raves F. Scott Fitzgerald in this month's Blender.“I feel as if I had a cannonball in my stomach!”

PLUS: BackyardBabiespull the ol' Scandinavian glam scam at Alex's; Anaheim Bambaata phones OCW headquarters to remind us that the Willowzplay one of their last local shows at SilverlakeLoungebefore disappearing on summer tour.

SATURDAY
Bro-a-billy hero MikeNessheadlines the Hootenannyat OakCanyonRanchover a bunch of people who wish Johnny Cash had sung in the Misfits and have blurry back tattoos depicting same. In related news, Ness just recorded an oblivious cover of the Clash's downer “Death or Glory,” a song about an aging rock N roll has-been with nothing left to say that narrowly beats out the Queen of England's cover of the Sex Pistols' “God Save the Queen” for inclusion on the LordsofStraight-To-Cable-Townsoundtrack. Contacted over an endless progression of major chords changing every four measures, Mike Ness said: “Mike Ness got pocket full of memories/Some happy, some sad/Mike Ness got girl stand by Mike Ness side/Through good times and bad! Mike Ness vagabond king with stolen crown!/Mike Ness got first-class taste in second-class town!” In related news, several rhyming dictionaries file suit for plagiarism.

ALSO:

DearMexican:What'supwithCafTacubaandKinky? Isn'trocken espaol juststuffAmericanslikedtenyearsagobutinSpanish?Thisjustin,amigo:ska-punkes muerte. Andwhat'supwiththatnewTacoBellCrunchWrapSupreme?

Bored-erRadio

Dear Gabacho,

Where are you hanging out? Southgate? Caf Tacuba and Kinky are about as ska-punk as Conor Oberst. Caf Tacuba continue to wow gabachocritics even 15 years after their creation for effortlessly fusing Latin American rhythms with various world beats and, sure, some of it was ska-punk . . . 10 YEARS AGO. And why the Kinky hate? They're the prototypical stuttering hipster band—effete, devoid of politics and more inclined to sing in English than espaol.One difference: these Monterrey electro-norteo chavosare actually deliciously talented, much like that greasy, gooey Crunch Wrap Supreme. At HOB.

PLUS: Afternannyparty at the DollHutwith real roots rockers KidRamosand James Intveld; roots reggae with the Israelitesand the Slackersat the Glass House; Rebel Feverparks the Booze-a-bago in front of Detroit; and up in Echo Park, the Fuck Yeah Festtrades you 25 bands—including Dillinger Four, the drinking man's Hold Steady—for $6 and most of your liver.

AND: ArthurFesttickets—for the early September drugstock with Sleater-Kinney, Sonic Youth, Comets On Fire, Dead Meadow, Earth, Sunn 0)))and a lot of elf-girl guitar music—are onsalenowso buy quick at arthurmag.com because this and Fuck Yeah are the hooks from which your summer will hang.

SUNDAY
MariaTaylorcuts her acoustic duo Azure Ray in half to release solo songs like “Speak Easy,” a Lou Reed-style cabaret pastiche (like “Sheltered Life”) that's instantly and irresistibly darling because it's got Maria's sly-girl voice and not Lou's swamp-frog gurgle. “We'll stay the whole night through, forever more/I'll be loving you” is a lyric you can buy by the box at the antique store, but hey, the way she blows the dust off! Warning: other songs suitable for college students only. At the GlassHouseif your fool heart can take it.

ALSO: The big Spin Offat Detroit: Simply Jeffand AliKayfight it out from the wrists down.

MONDAY
Lyle Lovettand his Average Large Band and several hundred people who remember only that he once had something to do with Julia Roberts, plus music of some sort; Dockers optional but encouraged. At the HOB.

ALSO: Guys selling illegal bazooka fireworks out of their cars at sunset, appearing everywhere; DexterRomweberat Avalonin Costa Mesa.

TUESDAY
The new MikeNesssolo record LonelyNightsandFlamingDicedrops today, featuring lead single “Fire Bad.” In real life: RiverboatGamblersmake a prison break from the Warped Tour and celebrate freedom at the Brigg(formerly Kozmos; coming soon: some sports bar).

ALSO: Don't forget to pick up your dog or cat at the animal shelter.

WEDNESDAY
El Ten Eleventunes the testosterone out of Death From Above 1979 to make a considerably more demure bass/drums duo; to reverse a famous song, what we got here is two guys for every girl at Detroit.

ALSO: I'm tired.

THURSDAY
ScoutNiblettcovers Althea and Donna too, but not at all in the same way as DJ Quik; sometimes, she plays plaintive little songs on her guitar and sings in British like that Slits bootleg, but on new album Kidnapped By Neptune, she hits full power four minutes in. What a screwy release: if she digitized her beats, she might have just undershot M.I.A. (the rapper, not the bar band) or (the old and not bad) Le Tigre; instead, she plays the drums herself under long blocks of keyboard drone, three fat fingers of Pixies bass, Nirvana (?!) distorto-choruses . . . and then back to that acoustic guitar. Scout, you are post-punk in, like, six ways at once: Where haveyou been, you crazy girl? Besides at the GlassHousetonight?

ALSO: AlabamaThunderpussyand Corrosion of Conformityplay, eh, jazz at the Galaxy; HedwigLive!for the glam-rocky horror crowd at Detroit; Chuck Mangione: yes, but why at Coach House?; post-punk three ways at once with the Cinema Eye, Hello Feverand Squabat Koo's.

PLUS: No, Mike Ness! Friend! Friennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd!

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