Please Stop Sitting with David Spade at Chili’s

It seems as if David Spade has been around our whole lives entertaining us, which is weird because we’re only 24. From SNL, Joe Dirt, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Just Shoot Me, to his newest show Light’s Out with David Spade, how ever you know this powerhouse, he has no doubt been making you laugh. And if we may drop a little advice here, you should keep the Spade love going by checking him out at the Brea Improv this Friday or Saturday. Or go both nights. Just go.

Ali Lerman: Very important: Do you feel like you are owed residuals for Joe Dirt Halloween costumes?

David Spade: You know, that’s a good question! [Laughs.] It’s funny because I love seeing Joe Dirt stuff out there. I wish Sony would have just gone for the merch and it would have worked out like that, but everything out there is bootlegged. There’s a trucking company and carwashes named Joe Dirt with the same font and everything. And nobody cares so I guess it’s fair game. I started making the hats that I’d give to people on the road because I like the Joe Dirt stuff, too. Every year I get Joe Dirt Halloween pictures. I love it.

It’s crazy because it’s kind of one of those things that has a forever cult following.

Yeah, you stumble into a weird thing like that and it just works. I think it’s because it was the first time I played a nice character. I wasn’t sarcastic and I was getting bullied, and it hit a nerve with people and they related to it somehow. I lucked out on that one.

Not to keep bringing up old shit but, I remember back in the day there being some mild “beef” with you and Eddie Murphy. How you do you feel about him returning to SNL?

I think it’s great that he’s coming back to SNL! I think it should have happened years ago because he’s one of the best to ever do it. I guess after every year goes by, it’s more stressful to go back there. I’m glad Sandler finally did it because it was great. And I know Eddie will be great. I actually don’t like being part of anything that kept him off of there and I’m glad he’s going back.

OK, new stuff. Your show “Light’s Out with David Spade” is hilarious, and I’m glad Comedy Central is letting you do it.

Thanks, it’s so fun. Last night was bananas with J.B. Smoove. He was just going on and on and I didn’t get a word in. Then I realized I loved that because I didn’t have to do shit. There are some nights when people don’t talk and I have to talk more and sometimes, I lay back. It’s good.

Who is someone you would rather die than have on?

[Laughs.] Oh my god, I can think of someone but I can’t say it! I will say though, I like everyone that we’ve had on so far. We’re getting more people than I thought honestly. It’s mostly all comedians because celebrities are harder to deal with. It’s fun to just sit there and bullshit with comics and not worry about anything. Jay Leno called me and said he wants to come on because he likes that the show is just jokes with no politics. People seem up for it, so that’s fun. Then I just have to think of something to do with them.

I feel like you are friends with everyone.

Well, I have Adam Eget to help with that. He’s like the Lorne Michaels of the Comedy Store. Adam knows me and my sense of humor so he tries to find people that vibe well. They don’t have to be my exact style because I appreciate anyone who is clever and good at what they do so really, it’s a mixed bag. I thought having three people a night was going to be hard but we have a lineup a month ahead. I usually don’t know one person too well so it’s hard because sometimes during the monologue I take a shot at them or while we’re sitting down I make fun of them. But I take my hits, too. Anyway, it’s sometimes hard when you don’t know someone and you have to introduce yourself backstage like, “Hi, I’m David, thanks for doing my show!” Then 10 minutes later I’m like, “Look at this asshole!”

It’s wild to me that you’re surprised people want to come on. I mean, not kissing ass here, but who wouldn’t want to sit next to you?

Well listen, when I’m at Chili’s, people definitely come and sit with me. I don’t know the etiquette but it’s like, I don’t think you should do that when you just say hi. But I love Chili’s. Don’t worry, I’ll be there. I’m Joe Dirt, I live the life.

Noted. I saw a clip on your Twitter where you added audio to gifs and it was genius. No. 1, are you Mensa? And No. 2, please tell me you’ll do this bit again.

[Laughs.] I think we’re going to do that again because that one turned out funny. You never know what’s going to end up funny and that one worked out. I’m glad you liked that one. I love it!

An actual tear came out of my eye. So funny. What’s something you wish you’d never get asked again?

I get a lot of catchphrases from movies, but I actually don’t mind those because the whole point was to have them. On SNL, if you got on and got a catchphrase, that would be like the ultimate success. It’s a prize. I mean, we only did the “buh-bye” sketch twice and after the first time we did it, I heard it on every single flight I took and also for the last 15 years. There’s really nothing that I hate, but people sitting down with me, yeah, that really irks me because I don’t know what to do. I’ve had scary stuff with stalker fans so you never know what you’re going to get. They’re probably the nicest people in the world but it’s just, you don’t know. I’ve been in bars where some drunk dude behind me will just shout out, “Oh, you think you’re so great?” It’s like, uhh ohh, here we go. But hey, it’s always better to get into a fight with a famous guy because then you get in the paper. And because of the beauty of Instagram, strangers get to give me tips. They just have to tell me that I need to work out, if they like my clothes, and if my hair is okay. Let me see your modeling card! I wonder what their two followers think about it…

Oh yeah, it’s just the best. Before I let you go, do you have any disclaimers you’d like to throw out about your show in Brea because, 2019?

A lot of triggers. If you’re triggered by Costco or me growing up in the desert, this might throw you into a tailspin. Other than that, it’s slightly R-rated and not too bad.

For tickets to see David Spade at the Brea Improv, 180 S. Brea Blvd., Brea, on Friday-Saturday, Sept 13-14, go to Improv.com. Follow him on Twitter @DavidSpade, check out his website DavidSpade.com, and watch his new show Lights Out with David Spade weeknights at 11:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.