Washington update: Washington’s offensive line has struggled this season, ranking in the top 10 for allowing quarterback sacks (31). The team’s other offensive line, its nickname, is No. 1 when it comes to being virulently hateful and awful. Some have argued that this somehow makes the nickname racist, seizing on the weak argument that it is an actual racist nickname for Native Americans that one would never actually say to the face of any Native American but is somehow okay to scream while sitting among thousands of like-minded people in a public setting, you know, such as during one of those prewar rallies we learned so much about in high school or at a Larry the Cable Guy show. [Rule of thumb: Whether it’s the R-word (Native Americans), N-word (African-Americans) or U-word (model-railroad enthusiasts), if you can’t say it to the face of a person denoted by the name without fear of getting the white slapped right off you, it’s either racist or, brother, you just really like getting slapped.]
Dallas update: The Cowboys are the NFL team of choice for much of Oklahoma, which is also home to Scott Pruitt, the present head of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Now some have said that Pruitt is actually the worst person ever to head the EPA, seizing on the weak argument that just because as Oklahoma Attorney General, he took money from the fossil fuel industry, and just because he sued the EPA 14 times over its regulations, and just because he denies the overwhelming scientific consensus that human activity is a primary contributor to climate change, this somehow means he will be unable to help stem climate change by regulating industries that contribute to it, such as, say, fossil fuels. This is as ridiculous as saying that Washington’s nickname is racist because the man who came up with it, George Preston Marshall, was the last owner to integrate his team—under threat from then-Senator Robert Kennedy—and who, upon his death, left money for charitable foundations with the proviso nothing ever be given to any organization that advocated integration.
Consensus: Punt!
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