>>> Jahred Shaine, lead singer of OC testosto-dude rap/metal band (Hed)pe, was busted at a Quality Inn hotel in Waterbury, Connecticut, on Oct. 27 after signing for a FedEx package that allegedly contained an ounce of marijuana. Shaine was released after posting a $1,500 bond, but he's due back in Waterbury for a court appearance on Jan. 5. LowBallAssChatter was wondering: What could possibly have tipped off the cops? For some clues, let's take a look at the song lyrics off (Hed)pe's new album, Broke (which, by the way, appears to be turning into quite a stiff for their label, Jive): “Getting high all day, drinking whiskey all night” and “Looking for that quick fix and tweaking all night” (“Killing Time”); “Never slow down, never sleep/I get so high!” (“Waiting to Die”); “We used to drive all night/We'd get high all the time” (“Pac Bell”); “I gotta stay high 'cause I got left behind” (“I Got You”); “Might as well get fucked, might as well get high” (“Boom”); and this thoughtful, Yeatsian, intellect-massaging gem (also from “Boom”), “I smoke weed, I drink wine/Take your daughter to my tour bus and fuck her from behind.” Memo to Shaine: try keeping your stash box well-stocked next time. (Rich Kane)
>>>DAMN YOU, DAVE! One of LowBallAssChatter's supersecret spies—in this case, a strapping truck driver with a notoriously hair-trigger temper—was in the house at Neil Young's annual Bridge School Benefit concert up at Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View two weekends ago. Nobody got hurt, but the thousands of rock N roll lightweights in attendance who screamed in tongues about Dave Matthews' “killer” set probably came closer than they realized to being victims of a mass slaughter perpetrated by our spyboy—his bloodcurdling disdain for Matthews' smarmy frat-boy flatulence was not soothed by sitting in the rain for eight hours wrapped in plastic trash bags and $30 concert T-shirts. Meanwhile, the heretofore unassailable Young ought to have his face blasted off rock's Mount Rushmore. He performed his only duet of the show not with the Foo Fighters, not with Beck, not even with the not-so-Red Hot Chili Peppers or the nearly embalmed Tom Petty, but with Matthews, who combines the worst of Kenny G, Yanni, and Hootie N the Blowfish. Watching Young and Matthews trade verses of “Cortez the Killer” was blasphemous—absolutely, totally, nauseatingly blasphemous. (Allen Trautloff)
>>>MEET THE DONALDS OC trio the Donalds love Palo Alto girl group the Donnas with a love that's unbridled, unanswered and unfettered by laws of good conduct. Frankly, it's pretty frightening. Instead of the usual flowers or fan letters, the Donalds bring to Donnas shows the gift of themselves, dressed as cows wearing Kiss makeup—which is all fine and good, save for the obnoxious people who squeeze their udders. The idea for the band came to them when they were unable to get into a Donnas show. “What if we were the boy Donnas?” guitarist/singer Donald T. asked drummer Donald G. “We could be the Donalds!” And so it was. What followed was a bunch of songs about the Donnas, pictures of the Donalds at the Donnas' favorite Palo Alto haunts, a set of Donalds Rules (never choose a favorite Donna, never refer to the Donnas by their real names unless you're their parents, never date normal non-Donna women), some Web mayhem (www.thedonalds.8m.com), and an upcoming 7-inch called “I Wanna Be in Palo Alto.” If being obsessed is wrong, the Donalds don't want to be right. (Alison M. Rosen)
>>>FRIENDS IN LOUD PLACES Project Roku, Emic, Free Spin (formerly Oscar), Wnuck and the 420 Band will team up Saturday night at the Shack for a show benefiting Lake Forest resident Don Forhane, who was recently involved in an incident in which he suffered severe head trauma. Though Forhane had medical insurance, his coverage only paid for a portion of the extensive brain surgery he's had to undergo. No surgery is cheap, and Forhane's bills have been overwhelming—so much so that he and his wife may lose their new house. All proceeds from the show—which has a $10 cover charge—will go to Forhane's family. (RK)
