Illustration by Bob AulHey you, the slimy school principal with a gambling problem who insisted to parents and staff that over $2,000 was stolen from the school this year, just like it was last year, even though you and your kiss-ass secretary are the only ones with the combination. In your desperate Arnold-like bid to consolidate your power and crush the morale of the teachers at the school, you decreed that educators could no longer vote for teacher of the year. You and your “management team” would choose someone from on high. Apparently, democratic elections are anathema to your management style. The thing is, one of your criteria for selection is a requirement that the teacher sign the ridiculous loyalty oath you posted. Don't you know loyalty oaths went out in the '50s, dickhead? Just like your hairstyle? In fact, aren't they illegal? By the way, behind your back, your stomach-stapled secretary tells anyone who will listen that she is really running the school. Maybe she is. Maybe that's why it's so fucked up.
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