I could ramble on for days about how awesome this video/song called “Rifle Burs” is, but I won't for two reasons.
1.
Within the first 10 seconds, the unnamed rapper (whose name appears to be Gil) says all you need to
know when he explains, “It's the hardest beat anybody's ever heard…
Gunshots are the beat.” Do you even need to know anything else? Answer: No.
2. The whole thing is three minutes and twenty-three seconds long.
Trust me, between solitaire, free cell, spider solitaire and online
Tetris, you've already proven to yourself and that creepy IT guy at work
who monitors your computer activity that have enough time to watch
this.
]
I
will, however, warn you. First, this is the most infectious song ever. (And who cares if it's spoofing Odd Future?)
Before you know it, everything in your life will be “ninja turtle swag,”
you'll start to think every dictionary should add the word “re-dead”
and when you drink too much, you'll take off your shirt like I did.
(Ok…an explanation is needed. I was in Portland at 3:30 a.m., waiting
for a TriMet train that never came. So I took off my shirt, hoping that doing
so would make rifles burs, which at my drunken state translated to me
trying to get a damn train to show up. It didn't, so we hoofed it a mile
or so to Voodoo Doughnut, where we made all sorts of rifles burs.)
Next, you'll come across this dude's other song, “Snacks.”
It's the
second single from the “Gil Kills Hip Hop. Cuz after me there ain't gon'
be nothing left” album (yes, that's the complete title) and if it
wasn't for the fact that
“Rifles Burs” has now trumped Louis Armstrong's “What A Wonderful World”
as the best song ever, you'd think “Snacks” was the best jam this side
of “Who Let the Dogs Out?”
And before everyone gets all swag, takes off their shirts and makes
rifles burs because they need more from this unnamed emcee, there's an
exclusive interview coming soon. I already talked to him and let's just
say that I had to ask him to speak up because rifles were bursing so
loudly in the background.
PS If this isn't enough and you really want to hear
rifles burs, check out the “Rifles Burs” dubsteb remix. If/when this
track comes on at a club, well…just get out my way.
