Hell is Forever

If Virgil took Dante into the ninth level of Hell today, the pair would quickly arrive at the offices of the Santa Ana Unified School District. Already facing a $29.8 million budget deficit, the district's declining enrollment means less government cash. And while the district is No. 1 in at least one category—worst Academic Performance …

Dancing With Myself

Photo by James BunoanEverything is “honey” or “hon” at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Westminster, where women take some of their clothes off for money. When I call to confirm that Wednesdays are, indeed, White Collar Wednesdays, so I can get in free with my generic, no-name OC Weekly business card, the woman who answers …

Going Out of My Head

Photo by Jessica Calkins “So, you know any neat pen tricks?” asked my new friend Nico, eyeing the blue Bic pen I'd been absent-mindedly tapping on the bar. “Not really,” I replied, before taking a sip from my amaretto sour—the new, improved 2004: all things sweet and fruity and sour!—and deftly twirling the pen between …

Lesbians!

The hot, smokin' lesbians are upon us—and it's about time. Showtime is rolling out The L Word, the female analog to the network's male-centered Queer as Folk. It's like HBO's Sex and the City, but this time it's the labia-lovers—not the mandhandlers—dishing over coffee and cocktails. The L Word, which premieres Sunday, offers up the …

Meat Me in Hell

Photo by James BunoanBy Gustavo Arellano, Joan Chyun, Matt Coker, Theo Douglas, Ellen Griley, Rich Kane, Steve Lowery, Tim Meltreger, Vuonganh Ngo, Rebecca Schoenkopf, Will Swaim, Jim Washburn and Chris Ziegler. Edited by Gustavo Arellano. Congratulations, savvy reader, on having the good taste to pick up OC Weekly's first restaurant issue of the new year. …

Un Poquito Es Mas

Photo by Jessica CalkinsHaving long suffered from an unnatural aversion to all things Thanksgiving—except, of course, KTLA's Twilight Zone marathon, which was the highlight of my pre-pubescent years until Sci-Fi stole the rights to it, the fascists!—it was with immense relief that I found myself actually relishing this year's Turkey Day festivities. And while it's …

Blues N Browns

Aloysious T. Dougherty III, Costa Mesa portraitist/filmmaker/writer/musician/ photographer, has launched a website (www.dougherty3.com/art/index.html) offering a compelling peek into his shadowy obsession with early jazz and blues musicians. I'm no art hippie, but I dig what I see in Dougherty's impressionistic interpretations of menshim from Charlie Patton to Thelonious Monk rendered in pencils, watercolors and charcoals …

Force Of July

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is a busy man. Running the Department of Defense in jacked-up times. Ramrodding past Secretary of State Colin Powell a new American foreign policy, Diplomacy Through Bombsight. Reinventing the nation's entire military structure, where he encounters resistance every step of the way from older brass. Conducting a tireless round of press …

Sanitized for Your Consumption

Photo by Jack GouldIn Saigon, USA, a pair of non-Vietnamese producers and directors try to capture the excitement and turmoil surrounding the settlement and growth of the exiled Vietnamese community in Orange County's Little Saigon. Unfortunately, Lindsey Jang and Robert C. Winn's documentary comes up infuriatingly incomplete, with sins of commission and omission. Funded by …

Little Bit O Soul

THE HELMUT STEIN EXPERIENCE ON RETURN (10-SONG FULL-LENGTH CD) Last we heard from the Helmut Stein Experience, at the tail end of 2001, they had just put out a superb three-song sampler, a drippingly delish mlange of sweet soul, blues, jazz, and R&B. The standout track was “On Return,” soaked in now ex-00 Soul man …

Dollars and No Sense

Among the questions about a war against Iraq is the effect it would have on the world economy. Some things we already know, and many of them aren't good: •The Japanese economy is in shaky shape. Japan imports all its energy supplies. Oil accounts for more than half of those supplies, and more than 80 …