If you didn't see this one coming, you probably still hold onto the belief machines will not one day enslave us mortals:
Skeletal, Oprah-endorsed, Kennedy-spawn Maria Shriver has filed for a divorce from maid-bangin', 'roid-constructed, faded-action-star-turned-gubernatorial flop Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Maria cites irreconcilable differences (read: wandering Extrawurst).
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Her lawyer Laura Wasser filed divorce documents in
Los Angeles County Superior Court six weeks after Ahnuld disclosed he fathered a child with former housekeeper and Fifth Street tranny doppelgänger Mildred Baena.
Shriver is seeking shared custody of their two sons under 18 and an “amicable” divorce–which in California legal speak means half of the millions and millions Schwarzenegger earned over their 25 years of marriage.
The ex-Governator, who cited his keen business acumen to get rubes to elect him to the Golden State's top elected office, never got a pre-nup.
Ach du lieber!
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.