Summertime in the LBC (By the Minute Review)
Queen Mary
8/5/2017
11:26a.m. I feel 10 years old again in these school bus shuttles taking festival goers over to the Queen Mary parking lot. Except my fatass has to man spread to sit in these seats. (Frank John Tristan)
11:30a.m. With all the cholos on this bus, you’d think we’re headed to county. (FJT)
12:47p.m. People in the front of the general admission section are already setting up deals with the VIP to bring them beers from the VIP beer garden. (FJT)
1:13 First wish of the day made: Del The Funky Homosapien does his “Clint Eastwood” verse from Gorillaz self-titled debut album. (Nick Nuk’em)
1:51 People are getting visibly frustrated by the heat but the occasional ocean breeze is helping cool the nerves. (FJT)
1:57 The Dogg Pound comes on 20 minutes late, assuring all the next sets will be pushed back on time. (FJT)
2:07 Kurupt looks like he’s ready to fuck someone up but Daz Dillinger looks happy as hell joking with the crowd. (FJT)
2:25 All these songs are just making me wish Snoop D O double G was here. (FJT)
2:37 “Y’all got a cookie?” Lady of Rage jokes about her role in Next Friday, “what yall know about Baby D? Y’all don’t know nothin bout Baby D that’s why yall laughin.” (FJT)
3:19 Suga Free is messing with everybody on stage, screaming on the mic and nobody can match his energy. (FJT)
3:22 “I’m an android, fuck it nigga. I’m a robot,” DJ Quik responds to his DJs accusations of being non-human. This would explain his ability to be on point after so many years and the immaculate hairline retention. (NN)
3:30 DJ Quik pulled a girl on stage to dance and told her “You’re on the big screen you better do something.” (FJT)
3:32 “Take your little ass over there, your gunna get us in trouble” Hi-C joked about the girl dancing on stage as Suga Free jokes “Check her I.D. on the way out.” (FJT)
3:40 “She don’t know how to dance though” DJ Quik says about the second girl to get on stage and dance prompting the crowd to laugh and say “Ohhhh!” (FJT)
3:52 DJ Quik just ran down the side aisle high fiving everybody and on the way back up he tripped, fell down, played dead and got back up smiling. (FJT)
3:55 Lil Rob just rapped the “I’m right next to the Pacific to be specific” line from his 2005 hit “Summer Nights”. There may not be truer words spoken for the rest of the day. (NN)
3:54 Hi-C just tossed his mic to someone assuming they knew the lyrics to the song and they didn’t know the lyrics hahaha. (FJT)
4:04 MC Magic got girls breaking into the pit like on some Beetles Mania shit. It was only a matter of time until the debauchery activated. (NN)
4:08 The G Funk stage should’ve been called the Art Laboe stage. Long live the legend. I can almost guarantee some of the Baby Jokers and Flacos who got their dedication played back on air patronized the show — if they’re back out on the streets, that is. (NN)
4:10 A couple just got engaged during MC Magic’s set. Art Laboe should for sure officiate the wedding. (NN)
4:30 Baby Bash is playing “Go Girl”. If we get a NOS tank, it’d be high school all over again. (NN)
4:40 Brenton Wood is the embodiment of an old-school player. Rocking a blue fedora, matching tie and suspenders, it’s pretty great watching chicks young enough to be his granddaughters lose their minds during “The Oogum Boogum song.” Dude’s still got it. (Nate Jackson)
4:45 Forced to attend Summertime in the LBC alone, I embarked on several short meaningless conversations, until I ran into Boobietrapp from Dogg Pound. I didn’t know who he was, but he started talking to me about his life and music, showing me what a cool dude he is. We talked like we’d been friends for years, clearly he acknowledges the “little guy.” (Angel Grady)
4:56 I see this clown walking around with a giant Wu-Tang chain around his neck, so I couldn’t resist, I had to take his photo. In the process of posing I asked if we had the number one Wu fan in the house, well he didn’t like that. “You got the number one Wu-Tang everything right here.” Apparently this guy is their PR rep. (AG)
5:20 Another one to bite the dust, poor drunk girl, she sat red faced, all sweaty and blotchy as paramedics took her blood pressure and accessed her condition. As concerned friends stand around, it’s confirmed, same diagnoses as the last one—she’s really fucked up. (AG)
5:27 Ayydé from Big Boy’s Neighborhood does shout outs to every area code but 714 despite a significant number of 714 and Angel’s hats in the crowd. (FJT)
5:32 As I’m leaving the G-Funk stage, a young couple was talking and when I noticed the girl was crying I turned up the volume on my eavesdropping ears. Turns out the boy was breaking up with her, in the middle of such an awesome show. I don’t know what the details were, but he could have waited until tomorrow- what a dick! (AG)
5:41 Slick Rick takes a momentary break from slaying the ’80s classics to wedge in a DJ trap segment during his set. It’s not quite going as well as he expected. “Bad and Boujee” is turning into Bad and Boo-jie as the audience voice their opinions on new school rap. Some lady behind me who appears to be in her 40s yells “Aint’ nobody tryina hear that shit!” A few seconds later the DJ rewinds a couple decades and plays some House of Pain to pacify the crowd. (NJ)
5:46 Bone Thugs n Harmony were on stage so the photo pit was packed, but for some reason a security guard was trying to squeeze through. The man next to me did not like it and had no problem telling him so, but when the guard puffed up and threatened to escort him out, he shot right back, “I wish you’d try to escort ME out of here.” I thought he was just a camera man, but whatever he whispered in the guards ear, made him back down, tail between his legs and everything. (AG)
6:15 Bone Thugs n Harmony playing “First of the Month” inspires a bunch of people in the beer line next to the main stage to order a few more drinks. “Fuck it,” one dude in front of me says to his girl, “Bone Thugs reminded me I just got paid!” (NJ)
6:22 Walking towards the second stage as KRS-One body slams the beat on “Step Into A World” made that journey across the festival ground totally worth it. Watching grown ass men literally running toward the stage like little kids nearly spilling their beer. Class is in session, and the students are excited to learn from the Teacha. (NJ)
6:28 Lady of Rage is watching KRS One from the crowd. Thank God for Hip-Hop. (NN)
6:28 There’s 10 boats in the harbor watching a free show and some festival attendees got mad they’re watching the show free so they started flipping off the boaters. (FJT)
6:42 It was time to smoke and I had bud, but unfortunately I had to leave my piece in the car, so I went on a quest for something to smoke out of. I lucked out and asked the right person, J-Ro of the Alcoholiks personally rolled my joint for me and then we had a nice little session with all music friends, it was sick. Then he smoked me out later with Bone Thugs on stage, I couldn’t help but feel cooler than I was. (AG)
7:12 Twinz just came on and delivered a sick surprise performance of songs like “Round and Round.” (FJT)
7:14 The Dove Shack just started “Summertime in the LBC.” Weird how many people are unaware of this event’s roots in the song. (NN)
7:20 J-Ro tells me he’s run out of cigarettes and how is he gonna smoke his weed without it, no problem I’ll find one. I ask the one idiot in the whole place that would offer me “tweek” when I asked for a cig. It was so random and made no sense, it’s like someone asking me for some water and I’m like, sorry man, all I have is Everclear. (AG)
7:29 YG and all 50 of his friends were either eager or rushing, but they bum rushed the stage stairs in such a hurry, The Dove Shack couldn’t even get down. Whoa YG, just give it a minute it’s almost your turn, kids are so impatient. (AG)
7:30 The talk box voice of Lester Troutman sends a shock of excitement through the crowd during Zapp’s performance on the G-Funk stage. “Now wait a minuuuuute!” he sings. Aww shit! (that’s literally the only thing written in my notes about that moment…too busy dancing after that.) (NJ)
7:31 Currently evaluating the effectiveness of “Damn baby, all I need is a little bit” as a pick-up line. (NN)
7:32 “Damn baby, all I need is a little bit” is 0-for-1. (NN)
7:34 When YG was up, his entourage was so massive, the guards had no choice but deny some of them on stage access because of the weight limit. There was a lot of confusion when that happened, the whole “I’m supposed to be up there, you don’t know me,” thing. Their answer was simple, “no I don’t,” what else can you say after that? (AG)
7:56 Watching Zapp dance around in electric light-up suits jamming to “Computer Love” while aging B-boys robot battle behind me. (NJ)
8:01 YG just got off the stage and riled everybody up by running from the front to back singing Who Do You Love? (FJT)
8:06 I expected everybody to start rioting to YG’s FDT, not pull their cell phones out and start recording. (FJT)
8:40 Warren G just delivered the ultimate Nate Dogg tribute by bringing Nate Dogg’s son on stage and going through all of Nate Dogg’s hits with the crowd singing along to every track. (FJT)
9:02 “How are they gonna do all their songs with only five members?”—some dude who decided double fisting beers while watching the stage from a screen near the G-Funk stage was a better idea than actually walking over and seeing it live. (NJ)
9:05 George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic saunter on stage to “Cosmic Slop.” Sporting his glittery disco dictator hat and some long robes, the godfather of of G-Funk is ready for another long ride through the galaxy. (NJ)
9:13 Me and six other people just unsuccessfully tried to start a mosh pit for Wu Tang Clan and now all of the crowd is now mad dogging us for choosing not to stand still like a bunch of sheep. (FJT)
9:28 Slick Rick and DJ Quik are fanning out watching Wu Tang bring the ruckus. Are you fucking kidding me?! (NN)
9:31 “We didn’t go gold or platinum until the West Coast showed up,” says RZA before going into “C.R.E.A.M.” Glad we could help. (NN)
9:37 “Whatever energy you give us, we’re going to give back to you” Method Man keeps telling crowd who refuses to do anything but stare. (FJT)
9:40 Method Man just shouted out Long Beach’s own Vince Staples. If Vince hadn’t been able to confirm whether or not he made it before this moment, there he has it. (NN)
10:10 Parliament has gone a full hour and could go another five more without breaking a sweat. At 76, the fact that George Clinton is still standing, let alone dancing is a funkin’ miracle. (NJ)
10:20 DeWayne McKnight’s Maggot Brain guitar solo is shrieking into the night as the diehard P-funk fans who’ve stuck around to watch the whole show get their second wind. Eddie Hazel would be proud. (NJ)
10:39 The lines are extremely long to get on the shuttles back to the parking structures causing people to begin to cut in front of each other. (FJT)
10:54 50 cent got Long Beach singing from their thugged-out hearts. (NN)
11:03 50 Cent says he only has 15 minutes left and basically abridged his set :/. We’d get nothing but hooks until they cut off his mic. And my only real complaint about this show. This and the lack of pop lockers. But seriously, way to step it up, Observatory. (NN)
