The Lowballasschatter Quickie Index

Number of times Axl Rose has been on the cover of Spin Magazine in the past five years: 2

Number of new studio albums released by Axl or variations of Guns N' Roses in the same period of time: 0

Number of minutes it took after word got out about the death of Drowning Pool singer David Williams for someone on the Internet to crack the inevitable “Did the body hit the floor?” joke, the key line from their semi-hit “Bodies”: 7

Number of onstage quotes from Williams published in a recent Variety review in which he states, “We don't give a [expletive] about anything but drinking and having a good time!”: 1

Number of hard-liquor companies sponsoring the show at which he said this: 1 (part of the Jgermeister World Tour)

Probability, in percentages (and if the Internet rumor mill holds true), that Williams, who was found in his bed on the band's tour bus, choked on his own vomit after drinking too much: 85 (Rich Kane)

Darren
Photo by James Bunoan
ALL SALES VINYL
Old record collectors never die—they just cash out. And Vinyl Solution Records owner Darren is cashing out in a big way—like 15,000 punk and rockabilly records big. Darren says he was probably the No. 1 guy in the country when it came to insanely rare Cramps, Clash, Sex Pistols, Johnny Thunders and Social Distortion material. Wanna buy one of the A&M “God Save the Queen” seven-inches, of which only 30 were ever made? You could have, if you'd had $5,000 and been there about a week back. But the aisles are still clogged with what we like to call “fucking amazing shit,” and you're never gonna see any of it on eBay. “I want it all hands-on!” says Darren. “And I don't even know how to turn a computer on!” Local collectors, vultures that they are, seem pretty much orgasmic at the opportunity to root through 15,000 of the rarest and therefore best records ever made (with some hardcores flying in from, like, Seattle!), but we can't help but wonder: Is the irreplaceable local institution that is Vinyl Solution (in the strip mall at 18822 Beach Blvd. in Huntington Beach) going out with a bang? No way, says, Darren. It's just a matter of priorities. “I've been able to collect everything I ever wanted, but that's a minor part,” says Darren. “I've seen a kid be born, got a record store going, got a beautiful woman I wanna keep, and got a house I was able to buy through the store. And those four things come over records—I had to get rid of one.” (Chris Ziegler) QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN MARK
Best blurbs from Mark McGrath's September Spin Magazine interview, in which he waxes eloquently about his secret heavy-metal fetish:

“I was in the closet with my metaldom. I remember driving around with my friends in a Cabriolet with the top down, in our turned-up-collar Lacoste shirts, listening to Violent Femmes. And when we'd stop at a gas station, they'd go in and pay for the gas, and I'd slip in [Motley Crue's] Too Fast for Love. You could get beat up for that.”

“[Blackie Lawless] took some WASP posters and rubbed them on his ass and threw them into the crowd. I'm, like, 15 years old, and that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. Rub your poster on your ass, I'm in!”

“You think about those stereotypical metal shows from the '80s, and everybody's like, 'Hey, let's drink some beer and get some pussy.' And that still sounds good to me.” (RK)

BENEFIT SEQUEL
Another benefit show for Leilani Gutierrez is slated for Friday night at the Newport Beach Hard Rock Caf, with sets from Caddy Wampus, Redline 5 and Clevis, plus a model-heavy fashion show filled with heaps of heterosexual eye candy. Leilani, you'll remember, is the young daughter of Sense Field bassist Rodney Sellars who was injured in a Costa Mesa car accident on Mother's Day and is paralyzed from the neck down. A July 30 benefit at Chain Reaction, though model-free, raised a generous $5,000 to help pay for Leilani's medical expenses. But medical expenses being medical expenses, most of that's probably gone by now, hence the Hard Rock Caf benefit. All proceeds from the $10 tickets (including cash raised from a guitar raffle) will be plugged into the Leilani Gutierrez Benefit Fund. Whether you go or don't, you can donate. Send contributions to Globe Packaging, 179 E. 17th St., Box 400, Costa Mesa, CA 92627. (RK)