Twitter has been really taking over social media for the last few years but when it comes to 2013, it seems to have been more explosive than ever. It's turned into a source for breaking news, events, and of course, a go-to spot for non-stop hilarity during an awards show. Some tweeters do it so well in fact that they have scored book deals, TV shows, and even board games just from keeping it awesome in 140 characters or less. That's something we call, mad skills. And while some people still hate on Twitter, some people on Twitter do it so well they make it impossible to hate on them. Those people have made our list for the Top 10 Tweeters of 2013 and with that, we offer a hearty thank you for entertaining us over the year and we can't wait to see what you'll do in 2014!
]
10. @13spencer
We're going to be honest with you all for a minute. We have no clue who the fuck this guy from Los Angeles is or what he does in “real” life. What we do know is that “Spencer” (and we assume that is his real name) is a real tweeting treat. With quips that are at times self-deprecating and at times totally boastful, he leaves us cracking up and wanting more. And at over 28,000 tweets, Spencer really does it right and we're pretty positive that he'll continue to bust our guts for the next 28,000 tweets.
Never one to hold back on mocking some of the top basketball players or random music artists and celebrities out there, “NotBillWalton” is one of the greatest accounts on Twitter hands down. Even if you aren't a fan of sports in general (do you even have a soul?), this account will have you crying tears of laughter while he stays either enthralled or appalled and oddly uses “Leviticus” for someone's middle name when he's overly excited. He even covers breaking news with a comical approach and finds gifs and Vine videos that sincerely rule. He's not the real Bill Walton but that is just fine by us because we highly doubt the real Walton could be as amazing as this ummm…not Bill Walton.
8. @DannyZuker
Cranking out tweets about current events, ripping on awards shows, lovingly talking shit on his family and friends, and doing plenty of self-promotion for ABC's Modern Family (that he writes and executive produces for), Danny Zucker is a total comedy king in the magical land of Twitter. We've talked about his amazing tweeting skills before and there's no uncertainty on our end that when it comes to Zuker's timeline, we will talk about it again and again. You've been warned.
[
The Iron Sheik is the man and if you don't agree, you can “go fuck yourself forever” as he would say. Never one to keep his opinion on anything to himself (especially when it comes to Justin Bieber and injustice in the world), should you follow The Iron Sheik on Twitter be forewarned that his language is more than salty. On that note, I think we can all agree that salty things are delicious. And with catchphrases that include “cheap Jew son of a bitch,” “dumb son of a bitch no good raisin balls,” and “go fuck yourself forever jabroni,” The Iron Sheik keeps it real and we really love him for it.
6. @BMcCarthy32
MLB pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks Brandon McCarthy is hysterical. And trust us, all of his tweets are not sports related and he's got a real wicked sense of wit. Talking about everything from celebrities, news stories, and of course some sports here and there, there are no curve balls when it comes to Brandon's timeline. He's a straight up humor filled hitter when it comes to Twitter. (See what we did there?)
5. @BillMc7
Here's another guy that we have no clue who he is or what he does but damn, this BillMc7 dude rules. Is he a writer? Is he a comic? Who really cares because in Twitterland his late light YouTube videos turn us on to new music, his one-liner comments to the ladies leave us laughing (and wondering if they really get him laid), and the utter randomness of his tweets never disappoint. He's also always one of our personal “go-to's” when there is an award show or breaking story because we know this extraordinarily funny tweeter won't let us down. With just over 30,000 followers, we're also pretty sure that in 2014 he'll fully exceed 30,049. Just kidding “Bill.”
[
Best known for being on SiriusXM's The Opie N Anthony Show, Anthony Cumia's Twitter is very opinionated to say the least. Even if followers don't happen to agree with some of the things that he is saying, he has zero issues entertaining the “trolls” which makes it beyond amusing to watch his feed. His back and forth banter is always backed up with plenty of facts so if you decide to engage with Mr. Cumia, be sure you know your shit. He also has the cutest Bengal kitten named Lil' Beavis (aka @BeavisCumia) who makes plenty of appearances on his timeline making his account adorably fun and fucked up which is just what we'd expect from Ant.
Actress, writer, and wife of Jason Biggs, the beautiful Jenny Mollen keeps it brief on Twitter while covering topics on everything from her dogs, her parents and in-laws, couples therapy, and constantly “harasses” the people closest to her in life. She's also currently “with child” and while reading about her thoughts on masturbating while pregnant, we couldn't help but to be happy to know that motherhood won't change her twisted sense of humor one bit. Congrats! (On the baby that is, not on making this list.)
Patton Oswalt has an incredible gift of making you laugh whether he is on stage, on screen, or on Twitter. He's witty, thought provoking, and at times can also walk the line of “WTF?” Following Patton on Twitter will leave you cracking up at his wisecracks, learning more about his comic friends (as he engages with them often), and wondering what he'll say next. His timeline is the perfect combo and is sure to keep you chuckling and engrossed making Oswalt a total bawse on Twitter .
[
Obsessed with food, Mario Kart, reality TV, and talking shit, super gorgeous super model Chrissy Teigen has got to be the funniest person on Twitter. (Hence why we put her as #1. Duh.) Never holding back on what she thinks or the language she uses, Chrissy rules Twitter and when the “haters” come out to play, she shuts them down effortlessly. And FYI, when Mrs. John Legend gets on a roll while in the Twittersphere, get ready for the laughter tears to flow like a faucet. Well done Chrissy. Well. Fucking. Done.
See also:
Steve-O Found a Way to Work Manginas Into His Stand-Up Comedy
10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time
10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time
Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.
Ali Lerman knows much about comedy, basketball, and celebrating Wu-Tang Wednesday. She’s been writing for sixteen years and still calls her mom with grammatical questions.